Tuesday Slice: Imposing boundaries

 

Today's writing prompt:  

"Setting boundaries is an important act of self-care.  Now is a good time to start practicing the art of saying "no" when you need to." 

This week, looking through the lens of boundaries:

Of place

There are nationwide recommendations to stay home this Thanksgiving and celebrate with just your household members.  We usually have a single friend over, but he recognizes the possible danger and will not be joining us for dinner.  Our son is coming home from college, which means we will all have "asymptomatic carrier" worries about each other this week.  

Of time

There are deadlines to meet this week--the buying and shipping of gifts, cleaning, and yes, lesson planning.  I feel the need to take advantage of a week off of work to begin holiday preparations that are hard to do at the end of ten hour workdays.  I love to bake, but it takes time and energy.  I am doing my best to get a decent night's sleep as often as possible, for mental and physical health--and that takes time, too.

Of available space

Nothing like a week at home to make you take a hard look at piles of clutter.  After trying several other decluttering methods, I am going to take the "one square foot" approach--just focus on one square foot at a time.  The boundaries of available space are also affecting gift-buying decisions for both our home and our children.  One is getting ready to move from Japan and doesn't want/ need anything more to pack, and the other is beginning to adopt a Marie Kondo sensibility.  I love the idea of experiential gifts...but going back to boundaries of place due to COVID19...sigh.

Of physical health

I have hit my personal upper limit of weight, with boundaries imposed by clothes that don't fit and various other symptoms that I know are brought on by an unhealthy percentage of body fat.  This boundary is hard to grapple with during a season of feasting. I need to use "no" more often it comes to placating myself with food, and view such as an act of self-care.

I read once or twice that self-care isn't necessarily bubble baths and chocolate bonbons, but rather doing those things that bring you health and peace of mind--like spending time with family, getting enough sleep and exercise and good-for-you food, cleaning your space to avoid a feeling of chaos in your home.  I'll have to work on saying "no" to the things that get in the way of doing just that.

Tuesday Slice: College bookends

 

My dad sent me this picture, packed in an enormous box with floor liners for my car.  It's the presentation of my National Merit Scholarship from Raytheon, the company he worked for after retiring from the U.S. Army.  The hair, the clothes, my teeny tiny waist--can you hear 1984 calling?

More importantly, can you see the joy in my parents' faces, the grin under my father's mustache, my mother's smiling cheeks?  This moment solidified the fact that I was going to college, an opportunity that eluded them and the generations  before them.  I was the first.  My brother joined the U.S. Air Force, and has since accumulated even more degrees.  

Our successful, non-college-educated parents produced two college-educated children; my niece will be the third grandchild following that path as she heads to college next year. 

I received a picture last night from my son, my baby, who will be graduating this coming May.  The coincidence of both of these photos arriving in the same week brought a smile to my face.  One just beginning college, the other getting ready to graduate.  Fine bookends, indeed.

Tuesday Slice: Scents of a melting pot on the eve of good news

The scents of a melting pot on the eve of good news

Came through doors opening

As I handed out books to those who had none

Little eyes beaming, older eyes grateful

Some heads covered, some dotted foreheads

A rainbow of garments and fleshtones

Curry and peppers and onion drifted past their smiles

Assaulting my masked nose, making my mouth water

I heard the laughter and playful screams of children

Saw mothers watching from the doorsteps

Beaten-up bikes piled, unlocked, at metal posts by my car

My name was called; I stopped, turned to see a child breathless, smiling

Followed by a half dozen more

You're not at school!  Why are you here?  Where do you live?  

Can you see my apartment?  There, with the open window!

Such pride and joy in his voice

*******

The next morning, my own child on the phone--

Have you heard the news?  They called the election!

There is hope.  There is hope.  There is hope.

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Tuesday Slice: My head in the sand

Aside from posting my blogs, changing my Halloween Facebook cover photo and profile picture, and Tweeting out my library happenings, I have been staying away from social media and the news as much as possible since Saturday afternoon.

I have done my civic duty by voting.  My family and friends have done the same.  My daughter FedExed her ballot from Japan; my son drove home from college to cast his vote early.

I participated in this democratic process, but I will not play the waiting game. This year has been enough of a stressor to willfully put myself in a heightened state of anxiety, and to what end?  Watching and scrolling will not change the outcome.  There is sleep to be had, and students to be served, and laundry to be done.  That cobweb in the corner of the window must be taken care of.  

I wish I was full of hope, like I was four years ago.  But so many people have accepted the plethora of lies and misinformation as truths from the current occupant of the White House that I am disheartened.  And social media has been the weapon of choice for those who would like to see us divided, who count on our greed and need for instant gratification that keeps us from investigating sources of information, reading past the headlines and first paragraphs, thinking before sharing.  It's the modern day version of "loose lips sink ships"; instead of divulging secrets, it's the spreading of misinformation that our enemies are using to attack our country.  

So I am staying away from consuming social media and the news this week.  The drama will be played out by those with much bigger roles.  I'll wait until the dust settles a bit; then, like a teenager watching a horror movie, I'll peek from between my fingers to see if it's safe to engage again.