SOLSC '24 Day Thirty-one: A glimmer of hope

 

This Easter, for us, isn't very traditional.  The kids are too old for Easter baskets (though we do have a gift or two).  I wasn't up to sending cards, print or digital.  I did finally remove the Christmas tablecloth to reveal the spring-y green gingham oilcloth underneath, and there is a fresh bouquet of pink and purple carnations on the table.  We will have a dinner of ham steaks, sweet potatoes, and green-beans-in-mushroom-soup in a few hours.  In the meantime, there's laundry to be done, some cleaning-up, and planning for the week.

But that's it.  No church service--we haven't been in years.  No Bible reading for me today, either; I've got a well-used, highlighted edition that is evidence of having been there, done that.  I'm feeling a bit cynical these days about church-goers who celebrate Easter big-time, but have a harder time following Jesus' example of Love as the greatest law the rest of the year.  Yes, the Resurrection story is the basis of Christianity, but wasn't the whole point to pay attention to what he was teaching before that?  If folks had paid attention, would the crucifixion have been necessary?  I know, I know-- much more educated and wiser people have spent years rationalizing the reasons why things happened the way they did.  But it always, always comes back to Love.  And Hope.

I've been bereft of hope in the general sense for awhile, so this weekend, I did some things to move my gaze forward and upward. This coming week I'll be spending some time in nature, paying attention to the ways it perseveres and continues its cycles despite our interference and lack of Love.  Maybe there'll be a bit of Hope in those quiet moments to carry back home.  

SOLSC '24 Day Thirty: Weekend brain fuzzies

 

This cartoon from Dinosaur Couch on Instagram popped up in my Facebook feed this week--and I felt seen, as the kids say these days.

I always think I'm going to magically manifest a ton of energy to get things done on the weekend.  And then I end up sleeping in, taking naps, puttering around, and scrolling way too much.  I can say that I don't spend the whole weekend in bed...but I have been known to wear pajamas all day.  (And I seem to get more done when I do...go figure.)  

I have a couple of tasks that are time-bound and need to get done before I go to bed tonight...and here I am Slicing, instead.  Here's to productive procrastination!

SOLSC '24 Day Twenty-nine: Scholar's memory lane

 

Digging through old files

and piles on my desk

I find my graduate work tote

(yep, it's all in one tote)

covered in a dozen years'

worth of dust

(has it really been that long?)

and there's a group project pamphlet

that looks pretty darn good

and a paper written--

with multisyllabic words, even!

and transcripts

another envelope with a certificate

for mentoring a teacher

(I had almost forgotten I did that)

another with more certificates

more learning, more achievements

written evidence

that at one time,

I was

I felt

kinda smart.

SOLSC '24 Day Twenty-eight: Eight things

Inspired by Alice's post on Nerds Beget Nerds!

Eight things people don't understand:

Elementary school children really need two recesses a day.  I mean, REALLY need them.  They only get one a day now, and it is evident in the way they bounce off my soft bleachers in the library and can't keep from moving the furniture around.

People who tend to be given the authority to make major decisions in education often don't have the hands-on experience in the very settings they decide to change.

There is a LOT more work to being a librarian than checking books in and out and doing read-alouds with children.  A whole Masters Degree worth of work and ongoing professional development.  If you give your librarian time and latitude to exercise their skills, your whole school will benefit.  If you don't, well, you're wasting a great resource.

Children need less screen time, and more time learning how to tie their shoes, ask politely for needs to be met (and have them met, when they ask), and clean up after themselves.  If they come to school knowing these things, there can be quite a bit more time spent on academic skills.

If children are misbehaving, it behooves the parent to pause and consider where this behavior is coming from.  If it's not stemming from an unmet basic need--food, water, rest, comfort--then maybe it's time to consider who's been modeling the behavior for them.  Total transparency:  my children taught me a LOT about my own dysregulation.

Being an educator is like being a Broadway performer, with eight-hour shows five days a week.  Is it any wonder, then, that breaks are needed for rest and rejuvenation?

Public education needs everyone's support, whether you currently have children in your care or not.  Think about all the people you come into contact with in your daily life--other people in cars on the road, cashiers, hairdressers, medical office personnel, clerks in government offices, the barista making your coffee order.  Aren't you glad they're literate and were capable of learning how to do their jobs?  How do you think that happened?

The best wine, song, book, artwork, vacation spot, outfit, makeup look, hairstyle, meal-- is the one you like, makes you happy, brings you joy.

SOLSC '24 Day Twenty-seven: Three affirmations

 

These three things happened today:

For this round of library lessons, I am having students respond to sentence stems about the library in honor of National Library Month starting next week.  They get to choose from a list of five stems, and write two to three sentences to complete their thoughts.  Their answers were as simple as loving the books to as complex as becoming more intelligent through reading.  Some praise was given to the "kind library workers", which filled my heart with happiness.

******

In a phone conversation about an unrelated topic, my supervisor (who is not my evaluator) let me know that I was doing a great job.  I didn't realize just how much I needed to hear that until she said it, and it almost made me cry.  

******

A parent was part of our focus team meeting today.  When I introduced myself, she looked at my nametag and said that her child enjoys coming to the library.  I told her that it made my heart happy to hear it; that is the baseline for everything else good that happens in our space.

It has been a challenging work year for me, and writing about the good things that happen in my job is part of my ongoing mental health journey that helps me to keep doing the work I love.  I hope that in this often hectic fourth quarter of the school year, you have the time--and energy, and mental space--to do the same.

SOLSC '24 Day Twenty-six: The eyes have it

I dropped the drops

I popped the pill

Both promising all day relief

And so it seemed

throughout the day

no cause for disbelief

A dribble here

a throat itch there

no major symptoms shown

So home I went

and sat outside...

and there, the cover was blown

My eyes turned red

they itched and burned

with no relief in sight

Til I dropped more drops

popped more pills

and closed them for the night.

My eye, reacting to allergens.

Allergies in Central Texas are no joke, y'all!  Here's hoping I don't wake up with my eyes glued shut!

 

SOLSC '24 Day Twenty-five: The wall has arrived

 

This happens to me with just about every SOLSC, with a week to go in the challenge: the wall made up of writer's blocks suddenly goes up.

I say writer's blocks--plural--because I have plenty of ideas to write about.  Then my brain blocks each one.

I started with the title "I used to, but now", but I wasn't feeling the couplet thing this evening.

Blogging in pajamas and undereye gel patches came to mind...and then what?  I've already talked about my makeup and skincare routine.

I could write about the monthly librarians' meeting we had today at the beautiful Round Rock Public Library, but the idea of writing a play-by-play of the topics and discussions tires me.

We are on the downhill slide to the school year's end, with just nine weeks to go.  But aren't most people in this writing challenge in the same boat?  What more do we have to say, other than we're tired and cranky and dislike testing season immensely?

I realized this afternoon that my spatial awareness of major roads in my corner of the city is really, really off...but that would only cover a couple of sentences.  And I'm already tired of using "I" as much as I have just writing these blocks down.

So there you have it.  A wall of blocks.  Maybe tomorrow will bring a better story to share with an audience.  If not, well....my undereyes should look fabulous, at least.

SOLSC '24 Day Twenty-four: Four four-by-fours

I almost tripped over

an unmatched black shoe

considered storing the pair

remembered death, always near.

****

My husband brought home

daffodils from grocery shopping

they are screaming spring

atop our Christmas tablecloth.

****

When I was tired

on this hazy Sunday

I struggled to nap,

ate a brownie, instead.

****

Wouldn't it be nice

if the pollinators would

collect all the pollen,

vacuum up the allergens?

 

SOLSC '24 Day Twenty-three: Still playing with makeup

 

When I was a tween, I swore to myself that I wasn't going to be one of those girls that always wore makeup.  I wasn't necessarily the "girly" type to the full extent; yes, I played with dolls, liked the Avon solid perfumes that came in cute brooches (does anyone else remember those?), and made sure my outfits matched.  But I preferred pants over dresses, science over social schmoozing, books over boys, math over makeup.

Then puberty hit.  The kiddy pudge was lost in inches grown skyward, I got my first real hairstyle, and learned from friends that if you held the tip of a Maybelline eyeliner in a lighter's flame for a few seconds, you got a nice smooth black line.  Blue mascara was fun, as were glittery lip glosses, concealer to hide those late-night study sessions, and blush to wake up my Polish-Irish skin.

Those dark circles never went away; sleepless nights with babies cemented them in place.  Sunspots now decorate my pale skin along with laugh lines and that "eleven" between my eyebrows--most likely from those stern mom and teacher reprimanding glares.  There's a skin care routine in place now, with double cleansing and serums and moisturizers and treatments.  They must be working; my students asked me this week how hold I was, and when I replied "Fifty-eight", they responded with gasps and said they thought I was thirty or forty.  Which is still ancient, I think, in elementary schoolkids' minds.

Today I received a colorless translucent powder in the mail.  I've never tried that kind of product before, so of course it was put into use for my curbside pickup at Target.  (You never know who will spot you in the parking lot, especially when you work in your own neighborhood.  Don't want to scare a student with unconcealed dark circles!)  I didn't do the full primer-foundation thing, just a BB cream, concealer, blush, mascara, and that new powder.  I was wowed by how it worked!

Now my workday makeup routine involves moisturizers, primer, foundation, concealer, cream blush, powder, eyeshadow, eyelash primer, and mascara, with a spritz of setting spray and a swipe of lipstick or tinted gloss.

My Polish grandmother, who wore lipstick and blue eyeshadow and blush probably to her deathbed, would approve, I think.  And tell me to reapply my lipstick while I'm at it. 

SOLSC '24 Day Twenty-two: Library Spanish

I'm on a different schedule this year, for the first time in eleven years behind the circulation desk.  Students come to the library every six days with their color groups, instead of weekly with their classes.  This means that I have had to learn to communicate better with our Spanish-speaking students without their teachers there to help translate.  Here are twenty-two phrases I've become fairly good at using:

Bienvenidos a tu biblioteca!

Estoy tu bibliotecaria, Ms Margocs.

Yo hablo un poquito de español. 

Dónde están tus libros?

En tu mochila (bolsa, maleta...)?

En tu clase (aula, salon...)?

En tu carro?

En la casa de tu abuelita?

Devuelve tus libros pronto.

Tu puedes tener uno (dos, tres) mas libros.

No estamos en el parque.

Estamos en la biblioteca.

Por que?

Lea el libro aquí hoy.

Siéntate, por favor.

Ven aquí.

En fila a la puerta, por favor.

Caminando, por favor.

Espera, por favor.

Hasta manana!

Hasta luego!

Disfruta el fin de semana!

All I can say is...thank goodness for Duolingo and Google Translate!

 

SOLSC '24 Day Twenty-one: Moments and musings

The man burst into the classroom, gold mask covering his face, gold cape flying behind him, mariachi music blaring from a speaker in his hand.  The students were surprised, confused...and intrigued.  When the luchador said his piece and left and the author returned in his place carrying the mask, the children were already hooked on his presentation.

******* 

How do you envision your path to retirement?  Do you continue to take on more and more mantles of responsibility, carrying heavier and heavier loads to throw off your burdened, bent back at the finish line and run free into the sunset?  Or do you see yourself unloading one mantle at a time as you tick off each mile, until you can practically sprint upright as you break through the ribbon?  Do you join another race afterwards?

*******

I have been booktalking in the library, reading blurbs and first paragraphs of books to entice students into reading them.  I've had more success with some classes than with others.  I'm proudest of the students who are taking "windows/ sliding glass doors" books where the main characters have autism, are deaf, are faced with racism.  Let's hear it for growing empathy and understanding through literature!  On a related note, my favorite book opening that always shocks my students comes from Peg Kehret's The Ghost's Grave, where Josh's aunt shoots a bat in the kitchen.

*******

As I read and hear about more and more school libraries in my state being closed, or certified librarians being replaced with paraprofessionals, I am really concerned about the future of school libraries and my chosen career.  We've worked so hard to prove our worth and become the heart of the school...I guess the powers that be aren't paying attention, or just don't care.

*******

It's only 7:50p, and I'm fighting yawns, fellow educators.  The time change, testing season, and fourth quarter of the year are doing a number on my energy levels.  Hang in there, and get some sleep!  That's my priority tonight.

SOLSC '24 Day Twenty: A case of the have-tos

 

They were there 

as soon as the

first alarm radio started playing.

I have to get up early today.

I have to wash my hair

before I get my hair cut.

I have to remember the author's snacks.

I have to pack my lunch.

I have put out the return carts

(the ones I forgot yesterday afternoon)

before the students arrive.

I have to make sure

the teachers know what to do

when the author visits today.

I have to leave school by 420p

to make it to my hair appointment--

will STAAR training take too long?

I have to get those things printed

for that teacher, which means

I have to change out the ink cartridges.

I have to fill out my conference paperwork.

I have to rectify my p-card purchases.

I have to finish my bulletin board.

I have to...

I have to...

I have to...

(And for those of you positive people

who are thinking 

"Change those have tos to get tos"...

well, that just didn't work with this list today.) 

SOLSC '24 Day Nineteen: I'm a librarian--(more than) nine things I did today

 

I'm a librarian.  So yes, I participate in our district's K-2 reading program and had my students vote for their favorite books today, using our flat panel.

I'm a librarian.  I book-talked a bunch of books to 3rd-5th grades today.  Some classes fought over who got the books, some classes just took a few of my suggestions and went on to find their own books.  And I'm not mad, because I know that not every book is for every reader, and these students have access to the entire library.

I'm a librarian.  Of course, I get random hugs from kids of all ages.  A few students are regulars, coming in for a shoulder squeeze on the daily.  (Please note:  I never initiate hugs!)

I'm a librarian.  Of course I said it was okay for students who are fasting for Ramadan to come to the library during their lunchtime.

I'm a librarian.  So it made me sad when a new student said they just moved from a big school with a big library, but they weren't allowed to touch the books.  Once again--students have access to all the books in my library, unless a parent requests limited access.  She smiled when I told her that.

I'm a librarian.  So of course I spent part of my day prepping for tomorrow's author visit in classrooms--and went to the grocery store after school to buy some snacks for the author's break.

I'm a librarian.  So of course, I got excited opening a box of new books for the library.

I'm a librarian...and I enjoyed modifying MARC records for cataloging those new books.  Those records make it easier for my students to find what they're looking for.

I'm a librarian.  So of course I made some new student IDs today, uploaded new student photos into the district folders and then navigated the financial software to receive the new books on the purchase order.

Bonus:  I'm a librarian.  And even with all of the challenges libraries and librarians face these days, I still feel like I have the best job on campus.

SOLSC '24 Day Eighteen: Rebirth

The night before my eighteenth birthday, I cried myself to sleep.

I didn't want to be a legal adult.  To me, that meant the tremendous weight of responsibility, financial finagling, the daily grind that comes with having to care for oneself.  I was enjoying my senior year far too much to jump into that role.  Fortunately, my anxiety lessened enough to allow the excitement of college to take over five months later--though it would resurface when the rest of my nuclear family moved across the world halfway through my freshman year.  Those fears were realized in full without my mom a regular phone call away; collect overseas calls were expensive and limited to every few weeks.  Somehow I muddled through and managed to graduate in three years and land a job.

I see now that it was the beginning of my second trimester of being.  Let me explain...

I am currently reading The Pivot Year by Brianna Wiest, at the recommendation of a friend.  It is a book of short daily passages to ponder.  On day 159, there was a passage about growth coming from being present and open to the wonderful things that can still happen.  In my half-awake writing response to the passage, I wrote this:  "DO SOMETHING!  Don't just sit and scroll and shop.  Read, learn, craft, apply, move forward.  There are things still left to unfold, happen, excite and entertain.  Even in this third trimester of living!"

Huh?  Where did "third trimester" come from?  (No, I am not pregnant; that would be a medical miracle on SO many levels.)

The more I thought about it, though, the more it made sense.  That young adult me was still forming, still growing in more physical and foundational ways, like the second trimester baby in utero. But now...I'm staring down a hopefully long road to the last third of my life.  I've got the basics of holding down a job, household routines, making sure there's gas in the car.  I've gotten rid of some baggage that held me down, like those cells between our fingers and toes that most of us lose while developing inside our mothers.  

I feel like I'm getting closer to finding out what is really important.  I'm beginning to stretch and kick at the walls that hold me in and hold me back...and maybe dance a little, while I'm at it.  Hopefully, when I push through this earthly veil to be birthed to the great beyond, I'm be a fully formed, fully realized human being.

SOLSC '24 Day Seventeen: Seventeen hours in seventeen lines

 

Up and hour early

Drank coffee and played NYT word games

Wished my husband a happy anniversary of our engagement

Fed the birds, helped my son find the leprechaun's coins

Watched CBS' "Sunday Morning" while checking email/ window shopping

Gathered half a bag of paper to recycle and cleaned up my planner

Showered, dressed

Started laundry and started dinner

Lasagna in the slow cooker

Went out to buy more bird seed--it's on sale

Scrolled some more and switched out laundry

Tried to read and failed

Took a nap instead

Woke up to write this piece

Will make a salad and eat dinner

Will plan my week and finish laundry

Will do my Duolingo lesson, lay out my clothes, and go to bed later than I should. 

SOLSC '24 Day Sixteen: One card, six images

 

My mental health journey has several different pathways:  counseling, boundary setting at work, getting more rest (or trying to, anyway), supplements, and SoulCollage.

I've always known that SoulCollage helped my spirit...but it wasn't until this last year that I realized that it really helps my mental health.  Through the images I'm able to explore what's bothering me, what makes me tick, what brings me joy--often without knowing any of this before images "speak" to me to be used in some way on that five by eight card...or several cards, if there are too many to fit.

Our facilitator is an expert at choosing meditations, prompts, and themes to guide us into a space where we can just be for a few hours, creating cards as individual as our life experiences and reading them through our own private lens.  We are free to share them or not, but often times, it is such a release and relief to connect the pictures to our lives out loud.  No judgement, not even therapeutic feedback (this is not a therapy session!), just acceptance and gratitude for being vulnerable.

The validation of who we are right here, right now, is healing in itself.  I present my card from today's session on finding the hidden gems within us.  One card, six images that bring a smile to my face and a lightness to my spirit.  Maybe you will find something to read about yourself within the card, too.

SOLSC '24 Day Fifteen: Remembering fifteen

Fifteen was

deep friendships

and deep doubts

heart-wrenching goodbyes

and learning to fit in--again

missing the Black Forest

and accepting the Chihuahuan Desert's beauty

iron bars on the windows

and tumbleweeds in the street

a new body

and new clothes

a string bikini

and first pair of heels

a major haircut

and curling-iron feathers

Lipsmackers

and Maybelline eyeliner pencils

feeling smart

and dumb at the same time

loving Algebra II

and ABBA

finding my voice

and a decent talent

singing along to "The Best of Times"

and "Don't Stop Believin'"

hoping a boy would like me

and my GPA

dancing in my bedroom

and avoiding homecoming

seemingly epic

and now, just a blip.

 

SOLSC '24 Day Fourteen: Hope found in fourteen

 

This past week, hope materialized in fourteen items costing one hundred twenty-six dollars--and that was with a birthday discount.

*****

The pots had been empty of life for over a year, filled with dried potting soil, clumped dead roots, and rocks.  One of them had a long crack down the side, evidence of being knocked over by a branch.

The branch belonged to our decades-old oak, which split in half vertically and landed on our front porch and roof during the February 2023 ice storm.

It took several days to remove the bulk of the tree off of the house and off of the property; we kept some sections for memory's sake to use as stools on the back porch.  We still haven't had the stump removed.  So many suckers have grown out and up from it that it now looks like a bush.  We know it will never grow back into a tree, but we haven't had the heart to thwart its vain efforts to do so.

Losing that tree changed not only the landscape of our front yard, but the climate of the space. What was once shaded well into the afternoon is now heated by brutal rays of sun.  Our bedroom gets the brunt of it; the brick walls soak up the heat, which can be felt from a foot away outside and just by touching the walls inside.

I was used to buying shade/ part sun plants for the containers on my porch and rocked in area; what was I supposed to do now?  I was in a funk last spring break.  I just didn't have the motivation to research plants and garden while the roof, eaves, and gutters still needed repair.  And when summer arrived...forget it.  It's just too hot here in Central Texas to garden most days.

This spring, I felt the nudge to liven up the porch again.  Surely, there had to be plants that did well in afternoon sun.  I made a mental list of all the containers I wanted to fill, then headed to a nearby garden store.  After talking to one of the employees, I started filling my cart.  Three gerbera daisies, two sedums, a rosemary plant, golden moneywort, golden globe lysimachia, long-leafed grass, and two different kinds of asparagus fern for the front; a Persian shield plant and a coleus for my Italian pots in the back.  A large bag of potting soil finished my list.

And just like that (well, with fourteen purchases and some work)...hope springs eternal once more. 

SOLSC '24 Day Thirteen: Lucky me

 

My husband considers thirteen to be a lucky number--because today is his birthday.  He celebrated by taking the day off, and started out by running errands.  I was showered and dressed and almost ready by the time he came home; I had a stress hot flash looking for a shoe and had to wait to stop sweating before I could put on my makeup.  

When we finally got out of the house, we took a lovely drive to a winery to pick up our quarterly wine club order, and enjoyed our free glasses (his a cuvee, mine a sweet muscat) as we sat on the terrace overlooking the vineyards.  After some discussion about where to go for a late lunch, we ended up at a new-to-us small restaurant.  The queso and chips were great, as was his pulled pork sandwich and my fried green tomatoes with chicken salad.

He tolerated my singing to the radio on the way home, and I rewarded him by buying his birthday cake, birthday pie, and BlueBell ice cream at our HEB.  

He may think the date is lucky, but really, I am the lucky one, to have this man at my side for more than thirty-three years, who loves and supports me every day.

SOLSC '24 Day Twelve: A dozen other things

 

It was hard, at first, to truly focus on what I was doing, where I was, who I was with.  There were a dozen other things on my mind:

• whether a book order was going to be dropped off at school with no one there
• the scheduling of a STAAR test the day after the upcoming eclipse
• the state of my house, in disarray, and a friend is due to visit
• gifts for said friend--where did I put them?
• where is my bright green purse?
• why do I keep clenching my teeth?
• am I going to have time to watch any movies this break?
• I've got to take pics and post stuff on Buy Nothing
• why did my packages get delivered just after we left the house?  Will they be there when we get home?
• I forgot to water the plants before we left
• I probably should have stayed home to clean and purge stuff
• packages need to be taped up and St Patty's Day cards filled out and mailed tomorrow!

But...after my second work-related comment as we drove up IH-35, my son not-so-gently reminded me that I am on SPRING BREAK, and we were on our way to have a FUN DAY in Waco.  And we did.  We

• listened to the radio and talked about music groups
• ate pizza at a new-to-us pizzeria just off the highway in Jarrell
• noticed out-of-state license plates on the eighteen-wheelers
• saw lots and lots of roadside bluebonnets
• spent a lot of time at a Half-Price Books outlet, and spent more money on books for my students than on books for us
• navigated our way to the Waco Riverwalk, parked, walked, and took lots of pictures of architecture, rowers, nature, and memorial statues
• tried to find a way to a burger place and couldn't find parking, so we drove a few blocks into downtown, parked, and walked to an antique store
• bought some books and old keys
• drove a bit more through downtown 
• made our way to Freddy's and ate fries and frozen custard
• listened to more music on the radio, and my son tolerated my singing along to "Bring Me to Life" and "Cheap Thrills", "Love is a Battlefield" and "I Think We're Alone Now"
• made it home in time to do our Duolingo and show dad/husband the pics from our trip

Today may be the only truly task-free day of Spring Break...and it was worth banishing the to-do list to the rest of the week.  Today we made memories, instead.

SOLSC '24 Day Eleven: This different year

 

This is my eleventh year as a librarian, my eleventh Spring Break from the circulation desk.  This is the first year as a librarian that I felt like I really, really needed the break.

I can't help but think of a pivotal moment at the end of my first year of librarianship.  The library services director called me out of the blue, and asked,

"Do you still want to be a librarian?"

My first thought was that I had done something wrong, and said so.  With a chuckle in her voice, she said no; in fact, she had heard that I asked smart questions and that I was doing a good job.  She said the reason she asked was that it was the end of the first year of a career change, and wondered if I thought I made the right move.

Without hesitation, I said, "Yes!  This is the first job in education I've had where I wake up every single day and am excited to go to work.  Every. Single. Day.  That didn't happen as a special education teacher or ARD facilitator.  I liked those jobs, but I know I made the right choice becoming a librarian."

I carried that excitement for ten years.  I'm working hard to keep that flame alive, despite changes and challenges, for year eleven.  I feel like I still have some library work left to do; not ready to give up just yet!

SOLSC '24 Day Ten: Loads and loads

 

Delicate lights

Delicate darks

Reds

Undies

Whites

Lights

Darks

Jeans

Towels

Sheets

How is it that two grown adults 

can produce

ten

loads

of laundry

each week?