SOLSC '18 Day Thirty-one: Fruition

I was already tucked in for the night when my husband entered the bedroom.  "Come look at the blue moon," he requested.  "I thought the full moon was set for tomorrow," I replied, but he insisted, based on the meteorologist's comments from the ten o'clock news.  So I got up, slipped into my scuffs, threw a jacket on over my pajamas, and grabbed the camera to follow him out the front door.

I think it's auspicious, ending this Slice of Life Story Challenge with a full moon.  It is a symbol of plans coming to fruition, a completion of a cycle.  The waning moon days to come are a time to reflect on our accomplishments and our struggles, eventually beginning a new project (with the next new moon, if you like to work by nature's cycles).

I began this year's challenge with a theme of looking up, flight, flying.  I am ending it by looking up to the beautiful full moon, in the Christian season of hope and renewal.  I will spend some time this weekend re-reading all of my posts to see what wisdom I can glean, what areas I need to improve.  I will also pencil in time to regularly check my WordPress and Blogger feeds, so I can keep up with all the fabulous writers I've encountered during this challenge.  And of course, I will continue Slicing on Tuesdays.

Thank you to all of my readers for walking--and writing--this journey with me!  Whoohoo-we made it!

SOLSC '18 Day Thirty: Looking down

I tried to set a theme of looking up for this blogging challenge, but yesterday, I realized that my students really need to start looking down in the library.

My hardworking assistant called me over to the fiction section in the middle of her inventory efforts.  She pulled some books from the bottom shelf forward, pointing out the visible dust resting on top of their pages.  She was worried about the dust; I was worried about the books not being read.

Later that day, I was replenishing our "Should I stay or should I go?" section.  I had asked our library systems coordinator to run reports on fiction and everybody (picture) books that hadn't been checked out in three or more years.  I expected maybe a hundred in each section; there were four hundred from each section!  Yes, some of the titles and pictures seemed dated, but some were great classics, had timely topics, and were written by well-known authors.  

Daunted by the numbers, I decided to pull a few dozen at a time to display.  As I collected the books yesterday, I realized that at least three-quarters of them came from bottom shelves; students just aren't looking down often.  The ones I pulled are now on top of shelves or off in a well-marked section, which we are advertising to our students. As one volunteer dad mentioned, "Product placement helps."  We've done a "check out from the bottom shelves only" week before; perhaps that needs to become an annual event.

I'll be weeding the library this summer, which will hopefully open up some shelving--perhaps enough to fit our entire collection on the top two shelves, and use the bottom for displaying books face forward.  That way, no great stories get overlooked. In the meantime, I'll be asking my students to look down when they are looking for a good book to read!

SOLSC '18 Day Twenty-nine: The breakup

My original plan:

• Leave work right at 330p.
• Head to the post office to mail a package to a fellow Slicer
• Get home by 430p to participate in an online committee meeting for our upcoming librarian conference
• Enjoy the rest of my evening, to include a healthy salad for dinner

Then I realized that I might get stuck at the post office, so my plan changed:

• Finish filling out the two hundred amusement park tickets (rewards for a reading program)
• Leave by 400p to rush home and log in to participate in an online committee meeting for our upcoming librarian conference
• Enjoy the rest of my evening, to include a healthy salad for dinner

Then patrons came in, and my plan changed to:

• Assist the patrons with finding and checking out books
• Finish filling out the two hundred amusement park tickets (rewards for a reading program) and delivering them to the teachers' mail cubbies
• Turning out the lights, shutting down the circulation desk computers
• Retreating to my cluttered office, where I closed the door and the blinds, logged on to the online meeting, and ate so many Reese's peanut butter cups in one hour that my trash can looked like Halloween aftermath.

By the time I got home at 600p, I was sick to my stomach.  I think I cured a candy addiction by the saturation method.  

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I'm breaking up with you.

SOLSC '18 Day Twenty-eight: Rude awakening

The phone rang three minutes before my alarm this morning.  My first alarm is set for 0415.  

Thank goodness for caller ID; my worry over a sick (or worse) child/relative/friend quickly dissipated when I saw CODERED on the tiny screen.  Hitting the talk button, I started listening to the flash flood warning and hung up before the message finished.  We live outside of a flood zone, and fifteen more minutes of sleep was not going to change our status.

After emptying the dishwasher and making my coffee, I checked for news of road closures and school delays.  Nothing is noted within my commute, and there's no news from my school district.

Thanks for the rude awakening, Mother Nature.

SOLSC '18 Day Twenty-seven: Past experience, present attitudes

An interesting topic was broached by a fellow librarian at our monthly meeting yesterday.  Having finished with our assigned committee topics, she asked about our memories of libraries from our formative years.  

I mentioned that I was in my high school library club--a quick, positive answer that elicited a few laughs.  Answers from others were not so favorable.  Stories of libraries as dark places, with librarians who were cross, nervous, overprotective of the collection (one librarian made her students wear gloves--in a school library, not archival!) were shared across the table.  A few positive stories were told as well--librarians who created safe spaces for us and encouraged our curiosity.

The librarian who initiated the discussion suggested that our teachers may have similar negative memories of their libraries, and that may make them hesitant to participate more fully in our library programs.  My own teachers must have great memories, because I am blessed to have a wonderfully supportive staff on my campus, but I can see how previous experience could impact a current teacher-librarian relationship.

Perhaps this is a discussion we could bring up at the beginning of the year, during our inservice time that we (hopefully) get with our staff.  We could reiterate that first and foremost, our libraries are welcoming, safe spaces for all members of our learning community.  When that comfort level is achieved, true collaboration and learning can occur.

A chocolate stash for teachers at the circulation desk helps with those relationships, too. 

SOLSC '18 Day Twenty-six: Adulting is not fun today

Adulting is not fun sometimes, especially when I am sick I know exactly what is wrong with me and I will call the doctor this morning but I woke up with a fever and now I'm trying to decide whether I should go to my all-day once-a-month meeting or not I know I'm not contagious by any stretch but I am achy and sweaty but I ordered a Jason's Deli lunch but someone else could eat it am I being a woose by even considering staying home or is it self-care and the right thing to do I have to make a decision by 545a in order to have time to get ready if I decide to go to the meeting but then I'll have to slip out this morning to make a phone call to the doctor to see if she can see me after the meeting.

Adulting is not fun today.

SOLSC '18 Day Twenty-five: Old neighborhood

We are a neighborhood of old cars
Obvious by the dings, the scratches
The dated angular lines and jutting hoods
Dulled paint in odd colors.
Many (like ours) are parked in driveways
Or on the streets
Silently testifying to garages full of stuff 
That will likely be offered at the next yard sale
Or taken to the Goodwill down the street.

We are a neighborhood of old trees
Some so big, you can't wrap your arms around them
Bare in the winter, now with buds bursting
Bright green leaves shoving the last of the brown ones off
Yellow pollen coating 
The old cars parked in our driveway.

SOLSC '18 Day Twenty-four: The fortune teller

The castle, long gone to ruin, stood just off the country road in the middle of a green field.  Though missing a roof, the walls were still in good standing, and served as the border for some of the festival offerings. 

We wandered from booth to booth.  Smells of bratwurst and beer and gluhwein wafted with the summer breezes.  German voices mixed with American English, punctuated with laughter from both in this joint effort of celebration.

One of the vendors was making delicate crowns of flowers and ribbons.  I asked my parents if I could have one; in a few moments, a wreath was gently resting on my head, ribbons floating down the back of my hair, picked up now and then by the breeze.

A few booths and tables were scattered inside the castle walls.  I approached one that advertised palm readings. An older German woman smiled from behind the draped table and greeted me in English.  I placed a few Deutsche marks on the table and sat down in the offered chair.  

The woman gently took my left hand into both of hers, and turned it palm side up, tilting it ever so slightly toward her.  She traced the lines, following how far they went over the sides of my palms and in the dip by my thumb.

"You love deeply," she said, "but think more from your head than your heart.  As a child, you got along with adults better than other children.  When you are upset, you tend to feel it in your stomach, not your head."

"This line, here, is your lifeline.  It is long and strong, but there is a break in it.  Somewhere in your...thirties?  Forties?  There will be something that happens that seems bad, but is really for the best, because your life line continues strong after that." 

She squeezed my hand, and let go with a smile.  I thanked her, and spent the rest of the afternoon in a daze, wondering how she could accurately read my past...and if her predictions of my future would hold up as well.

SOLSC '18 Day Twenty-three: Roots

Daily, it seems
I hear "No Roots" on the radio.
(I thought the singer 
was Florence Welch;
Alice Merton is 
her vocal doppelganger,
at least in this song.)
Every time I hear it
I think of my fellow
Military BRATs.
We have no roots.
And then I think 
of the squirrels
who disrupt our routines,
burying pecans in my potted plants
and nesting in our resting car.
Will I remember 
where to find the stories of my youth?
Will the squirrels remember
the pecans before saplings take root?

Link to lyrics for "No Roots"

SOLSC '18 Day Twenty-two: Busy, busy, busy

I told my assistant yesterday that I felt like I was back to my resource room days this week.  In my previous life as a special education teacher, I juggled a fifteen-minute block schedule, changing activities just about that often, students coming in and out of my room at different times of the day to work on different subjects at different levels of achievement.  It wasn't uncommon to have three different grade levels working on two subject areas in the room at one time.

We have a fifteen/ thirty minute schedule in our library.  Students who get a read-aloud (kindergarten every week, first and second every other) spend fifteen minutes in the Book Nook, and then get fifteen minutes to check out.  Third through fifth grades get a lesson every other week that usually takes fifteen minutes.  Bear in mind that with second through fifth grades, we have two classes in the library at the same time!

This type of schedule usually gives me fifteen minutes in between reading or lessons to help students find books, chat with teachers, check my schedule, or prep for the next class.  But this week, I'm doubling up on all lessons and read-alouds.  We are closed for four days next week due to testing and a Friday holiday; the following week, I am at our annual librarians' conference for four days.  When I return, we will be closed for state testing again for two-three days.  

Squeezing in lessons seemed to be the only option to keep from getting behind.  This means reading three different books in the Book Nook, and teaching nonfiction text features to third grade, great opening lines in literature to fourth, and a quick digital citizenship assessment with fifth, either flipping classes for the fifteen minute lessons or doubling them up (fifth graders paired on iPads).

We are busy, busy, busy in the library!  I've been spending time on my front porch at the end of each workday, breathing the fresh air, soaking in some of the setting sun's energy to use for the next day ahead.  Next week, it will be all checkout time--from carts in the school foyer!

SOLSC '18 Day Twenty-one: It takes teamwork

"Write about why working in a group or team can be beneficial. Explain the ways working as a team can be good."

By most standard examples of teams, they didn't stand a chance at competition.  The team members had little in common, except for their grade level and the same twenty books they all read over the last twelve months.  Only one had competed before; the rest were new to the game.  They were chosen because they made the top scores on an individual quiz over the books.  There were no scheduled practices, no strategy other than assigning each team member five books to review before the competition, with just one week to study.

The big day arrived.  Over thirty elementary schools were represented in the middle school gym for the eighth annual Battle of the Bluebonnets.  Each team of four huddled around their school's sign, and prepared to answer multiple choice questions about the twenty Bluebonnet Award nominee books.  After giving some last minute reminders--"Share the Plickers card!  Whisper your thinking!" and wishing them good luck, I went back to my seat on the other side of the gym.  I watched as they discussed the questions, and noticed the ease at which they decided on the answers.  They were calm except when celebrating their correct answers.  At the end of the first round, they tied with four other teams for the top score; the first round of tiebreakers knocked them out of the running--but in a three-way tie for third place.

How did they do so well?  I can think of several reasons.  Each student was on his or her best behavior; they were polite and respectful of each other.  Each student brought his or her own strength of knowledge of their assigned books, and they trusted each other's expertise.  They also trusted the experience of the team member who had participated in this contest before.

Working as a team can bring out the best in people.  We can lean on each other's strengths to solve problems that might be hard to work out on our own.  Because everyone comes to the team with different viewpoints and different experiences, we learn from each other, too--and that knowledge can help us in other areas of our lives, with other problems we have to solve.  Everyone wins when we work as a team, even if the team loses the game, because we all benefit from the relationships and the learning we gain in the process.

**********
Half of our fourth grade classes are in Writing Camp this week.  On Tuesday morning, I was privileged to deliver the writing prompt of the day.  I promised the students that I would write about the prompt as well, and share my post with their teachers so the classes could critique my writing.  Here's hoping I pass with flying colors!

SOLSC '18 Day Twenty: We do more before 9a

Are you old enough to remember this commercial?

I know this to be true. I rarely saw my father in the mornings while he was on active duty; the half-cup of coffee he left on the kitchen table was already cold by the time we were getting ready for school.

Most elementary educators I know are the same way.  Many of my colleagues are at work by 630a, preparing for the day.  I'm there by 710a to greet our fifth grade broadcast team.

The other day, I wrote a post about all the things I should be doing.  Someone suggested that I write a list of things I am actually doing, and the Army commercial came to mind.  So this is what I am getting done on workdays before 9a:

• Up by 430a, though it's been 410a this week.
• Make my coffee.
• Empty the dishwasher.
• Visit Sacred Space for a daily reading. (If you visit the site, be sure to turn on your sound; the music is soothing.)
• I've started the Chopra series of meditation for weight loss; takes about twenty-five minutes.
• Slicing or blogging--when it's not March, I blog about books on Mondays, Slice on Tuesdays, and blog about the library on Wednesdays.  I try to read blogs and weed emails on Thursdays and Fridays.
• Check emails.  When it's not Lent, this would be the time I'd pop on to Facebook and see what my friends are up to.
• Try to squeeze in some simple movement exercises, like joint rotations.  (In a perfect world, I would be working out for a half hour; still working on that.)
• Get ready for work (shower, dress, breakfast, make lunch), at school by 710a.
• Monitor the broadcast team, check emails, pull books for teachers, check schedule, prep for lessons, catch up with my assistant, help students and parents who come in for books, pay bills, etc.
• First classes are in the library at 8a.  By 9a, we've typically seen three to four classes.

I'm thinking elementary educators can give the Army a good run for this "get it done by 9a" routine; what do you think?

SOLSC '18 Day Nineteen: Card making duet

"Do you want to make the SoulCollage© cards tonight," he asked on Saturday, "during Dad's TV show?"

"Sure," I replied, "After I'm done in the kitchen."

Dishwasher filled, I clear a space at his computer table, and start to lay out the supplies.  Old calendars, magazines, and catalogues in bags at our feet and on the table.  A cutting mat, scissors, exacto knives, and glue at hand.

I explain that the process involves finding images that speak to him; no words allowed on the card.  He starts rummaging through the calendars; I help him tear pages from a collage clipart book.  I find pictures in two different calendars and begin cutting them out for my card.  Working side by side at the small table, we are quiet, except for the occasional request for a tool or mat.

When he is done, I tell him to take a moment and read his card, to see if he can make an "I am one who..." statement.  He defers answering, but smiles knowingly and asks about the plastic cover.  I slide his card into the sleeve and seal it, then turn back to my card for one more piece.
*********
He called from his dorm last night, asking if he had left something at home.  Looking through his bedroom, I noticed his card was not there.  I'm hoping he has it displayed on his desk at school.

Our first SoulCollage© card making session.  I'm thinking it won't be our last.

My card from our session.

SOLSC '18 Day Eighteen: The list of things I should be doing

Here is the list of things I know I should be doing, but I'm not:

1.  Eating more vegetables and less processed food.
2.  Exercising every day for at least twenty minutes.
3.  Meditating every day.  Yes, even on weekends.
4.  Stop spending money on things I don't need.
5.  Scheduling regular checkups with my doctor, dermatologist, massage therapist....
6.  Finally getting those fillings I need.
7.  Getting rid of LOTS of stuff, so that my children aren't stuck with it when I die.
8.  Spending less time on the computer.
9.  Spending more time outdoors.
10.  Reading every.  single.  day.  Yes, even on workdays.
10a.  Read the books I already own, before buying more.
11.  Meeting up with friends more often.  In real life, not just on Facebook.
12.  Saving more money.  Maybe even investing some of it, too.
13.  Making real plans for renovating our home.
14.  Finishing my children's school scrapbooks.  (They're in college and beyond, now.)
15.  Finishing the many, many crochet projects left undone.
16.  Using the art supplies I bought in earnest, then left in the bag.
17.  Sending birthday cards every month.
18.  Leaving work early enough to come home and cook and clean and read and relax, instead of just dropping my purse and plopping on the couch and falling asleep then getting up to go straight to bed.
19.  Wearing my retainer every night, not just three nights a week.
20.  Writing more thank you notes.
21.  Looking up more often, even after this writing challenge is over.

The saying goes "If you know better, you do better."

Then why am I not doing better at these things?

SOLSC '18 Day Seventeen: 'Tis a great day to be Irish

I have a lot of thoughts swirling in my head regarding Saint Patrick's Day, and can't seem to settle on just one for a worthy piece of prose...so pardon today's mish-mosh of ideas.

My surname may not reflect it, but my matrilineal heritage is Irish.  While I was growing up, each March would bring Hallmark cards with clover and leprechauns to our mailbox from my mother's parents, brother, aunts and uncles.  Today, I will send electronic holiday greetings to my family.

I am a lover of potatoes, in all forms...but who isn't?

Seamus, the leprechaun, has once again visited our house.  This time he left 44 gold chocolate coins for my son to find.

I love Celtic lore.  Stories of fairies, leprechauns, and sacred spaces which come alive at certain seasons of the year are fascinating.  I feel the connection with nature, a sense of wonder, the willingness to accept that which cannot be explained, and the presence of the Divine through these tales.

My favorite morning prayer is "The Breastplate of Saint Patrick."  It is long, but I've prayed it so often that I have it memorized.  There are many versions, but this is the one I recite:

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven; 
Light of the sun,

Radiance of the moon,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of the wind,
Depth of the sea, 
Stability of the earth,
Firmness of the rock. 

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me, 
God's wisdom to guide me, 
God's eye to look before me, 
God's ear to hear me, 
God's word to speak for me, 
God's hand to guard me, 
God's way to lie before me, 
God's shield to protect me, 
God's hosts to save me 
From snares of the devil, 
From every one who desires me ill, 
Afar or near, 
Alone or in a multitude. 

Christ with me, Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, 
Christ on my right, Christ on my left, 
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, 

Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me, 
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me, 
Christ in the eye that sees me, 
Christ in the ear that hears me. 

Amen.

I am always wearing green--my clover and triquetra and owl tattoos cover that tradition.  Twenty-nine years ago today, my husband proposed to me with an emerald ring.  It goes well with my green-painted fingernails.

I'll close this muddled post with a well known Irish blessing:

May the road rise to meet you

May the wind be always at your back

May the sun shine warm upon your face

May the rain fall soft upon your fields

And, until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

SOLSC '18 Day Sixteen: Metamorphosis

There have been lilies on the table before.  These were in a beautiful arrangement given to me by my husband for my birthday.  One had already opened wide, displaying freckled pink petals and bright orange stamen.  Someone had given me a tip about cutting off the stamen to avoid pollen stains; so helpful!

What I hadn't noticed before was the gradual coloring of the flower bud. The lilies started with green petals closed up tight, turning pinker by the day until they burst open.

The flowers reminded me of the monarch butterflies I raised two years ago.  I thought they had died when the beautiful green chrysalises started turning black.  What I learned was that they were actually becoming clear, showing off the butterflies about to emerge.

When I was teaching, I was tuned in to changes in my students' behavior.  Subtle shifts gave me clues about their personal and learning lives.  When the changes were hurtful or frustrating, sometimes I could intervene; sometimes, the only help I could give was to acknowledge their difficulties and be with them as they struggled.  It was often enough for them to simply be seen and heard.  Like the lily and the butterfly, I was privileged to watch them blossom and grow.

SOLSC '18 Day Fifteen: Porch sitting in the morning

It's Spring Break here in central Texas, and I'm taking advantage of being home past dawn to go for walks in the sunshine.  I've had to bundle up a bit; our morning temps, while nothing like the nor'easters New England is experiencing, have been in the forties.  

It finally warmed up enough yesterday to pause on the front porch after my walk.  I hadn't had a chance to meditate yet, and I thought a few moments sitting, just listening, would suffice.

After taking a few deep breaths of the crisp air, I tuned in to the sounds of our neighborhood, and realized it wasn't as quiet as I thought. A feathered symphony was warming up in a cacophony of coos, shrieks, and trills.  Focusing on the source of the sounds, I saw grackles, bluejays, crows, doves, and a mockingbird in the distance.

(You may want to turn up your sound)

At some point, I got hungry, and went inside to make myself a yogurt parfait.  Returning to the porch, the granola crunching seemed an insult to the background birdsong.  I ate quickly, and returned to listening once more.

My vision of a perfect day starts with porch sitting and birdsong, temps just chilly enough to keep the bugs at bay, coffee in hand, no appointments to keep.

SOLSC '18 Day Fourteen: Cloudwatching

blue skies pushing at little poufed clouds
placed adjacently in rows and columns 
by an unseen hand
like the batting between
the stitched squares of an old quilt
or dough blobs on top of a cobbler
(are we the filling, or is the sky?)

I found out these types of clouds are called stratocumulus, by visiting a resource-filled science education website hosted by the University Corporation for Atmospheric Research Center for Science Education.  

SOLSC '18 Day Thirteen: If we remember, we can fly

“When you come to the edge of all of the light you’ve known, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown; faith is knowing one of two things will happen. You’ll have something solid to stand on, or you’ll be taught how to fly.”

--Patrick Overton

(Thanks to Fran Haley's post for the inspiration)

It must be a teacher thing, all this planning ahead.  On Friday, we need to know what we'll be doing on Monday.  We plan the week, month, unit, grading period, school year ahead.  As a librarian, I often have to plan a year beyond that to book authors and hold book fairs.  The enormity of the curriculum we're supposed to cover in 175 days with students keeps us constantly cramming every nook and cranny of our work days.  Some of us tend to do that with our personal lives as well, stuffing our days off with tasks, trips, and professional development opportunities.

It's no wonder that the one piece of instruction, the one life skill we often lack, is that of reflection.  We feel like we just don't have time for review.  Too much needs to get done.

***********

The quote above made me stop and reflect on the times I've faced the unknown.  Major life transitions, scary circumstances, big and little opportunities--I've survived them, even thrived sometimes. I bet you have, too.

If we remember, we can feel the solid ground beneath us.  We can push off, and fly.

https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-jumping-photo-127968/

SOLSC '18 Day Twelve: Acrostic theme

Flying, and 
Looking up
Isn't as easy a theme as I thought it would be.  I need to
Gather more ideas,
Head outside, maybe, and
Turn my head to the sky once more.

************
The first Monday of Spring Break.  Time change has made it pitch black at this hour when I've become accustomed to hints of dawn.  My home-from-college son sleeps on the sofa; why, I don't know, as his bed is perfectly available.  I'll have to tiptoe through my coffee routine, then return to the study to wonder about what I'll see when daylight arrives and I look up for inspiration.

SOLSC '18 Day Eleven: Saturday, around 530p

I am sitting on the porch, journal in my lap.
My husband is clattering about in our driveway while he changes the oil in my car.
The fire truck leaves.
There are voices of children playing around the corner, down the street.
A man stops on the sidewalk, his dog waiting on a leash while he checks his phone.
A woman waits in her driveway, with the ambulance still parked out front, doors closed, patient inside.
An unseen airplane roars quietly overhead.
The sun is setting, leaving gray, drawn-out clouds in its wake.
The woman still waits, leaning against her tan minivan.
A motorcycle rumbles past.
A large white pickup truck rounds the corner, slows as it passes the ambulance, but doesn't stop.
Why isn't the ambulance leaving?
What is the woman waiting for?
Our neighbor across the street takes out her trash.
Another airplane flies overhead.
The ambulance leaves, no lights, no sirens blaring.
The woman watches the ambulance go, then walks slowly over to a large pile of brush by her mailbox.
She bends slightly,inspects something, then turns and walks back into her house.
The white pickup truck from before passes our house.
The children are still playing down the street, quieter now.
My husband still clatters in the driveway.
I return to my journal writing, with more questions than answers.

SOLSC '18 Day Ten: Where is the wonder?

There is a blackboard just inside the entrance of the library, the kind you write on with neon markers.

The instructions at the top read "Wonder Wall: Ask a question that begins with Who-What-When-Where-Why-How".  The shelf below holds a bin with sticky notes and pencils.  An 8x10 photo taken by a student is posted, a study in bright orange with concentric circles that lead to a slightly darker point in the middle.  A dozen or so sticky notes surround the picture.

My assistant, getting the stop sign from the shelf for her afternoon crosswalk duty, reads several of the notes.  "Is it a .... Is it a ...." she repeats several times.  "Take those down," I say from the circulation desk, shaking my head.

**************************
I put up the Wonder Wall during my first year in the library, to spur questioning and critical thinking; it was a practice I had seen in classrooms at my former IB-PYP campus.  I quickly discovered that many students preferred to guess what the picture was, rather than ask questions about it.  I had to reiterate the instructions, taking the guesses down in front of them and throwing them away, yet it still happens.  

One of my teachers had everyone in her class do an independent study project, after most of them couldn't fill the blanks on an "I wonder about" poem.  Another teacher recently told me that when she gave a writing prompt of "describe a special day in your life", one of her students would only talk about school, homework, and chores.  

So many of our students think inside the multiple-choice boxes with one right answer, and that is what they strive for. I worry that they've lost their sense of wonder.  Somewhere, sometime, the imagination that takes flight in toddler years was told to land.  

SOLSC '18 Day Nine: Dreams of youth, Part Two

I'm going to fly back through time, to see what I was doing before I turned forty instead of the "wild things" my almost 22-year-old self planned for my future.

Here's the list again:

I was seven months into my first year of teaching special education when I wrote that list in March 1988.  I was probably feeling overwhelmed, wondering if I had indeed chosen the right career path.  Another college, after all, had offered a full scholarship in engineering.  But I was starting to date my current husband, so I stayed put. We were engaged the following March, and married the year after that.

I did talk to a National Guard recruiter about signing up, mostly because I missed the military life of my childhood.  My career military father and brother talked me out of joining; I remember my brother saying that it took me years to build my self-esteem, and he didn't want to see a drill instructor tear that away from me. 

I taught in the resource setting for six years.  I loved the students, but planning and teaching thirty different levels of reading, writing, and math wore me to the bone.  I left education when I got pregnant with our first child, sure that I could not be the mother I wanted to be and teach at the level I had been teaching.  

During the six years I was away from schools, I tutored, then worked as a unit clerk and desk assistant for the same NICU my daughter inhabited for two months.  My 22-year-old self certainly didn't see that coming.

I'm not sure when the idea of learning to scuba dive fizzled out.  I don't remember thinking about it after having babies.  

My husband did buy me a motorcycle before I turned forty, after I took a riding class to see why he liked it so much.  I injured my knee in the class and swore I wouldn't go back without practicing first, hence the bike purchase.  I practiced regularly for awhile, but riding eventually took a back seat to work and chauffeuring children and laundry.  My pretty Yamaha Virago is gathering dust in the garage.  Perhaps this first summer of empty nesting will tempt me to rev up that engine again.

I flew in a lot of passenger planes during the years between 22 and 40, but no military-style jets. I investigated getting a pilot's license.  I remember the cost was the main reason that dream was deferred; fuel and lessons were expensive!

I had false starts of returning to school before I had babies, entertaining ideas of getting a master's degree in special education and then another bachelor's in computer science; I was thinking of developing software for students with learning disabilities.  The graduate class in special education didn't help me be a better teacher, so I quit that path.  Learning Pascal programming (yes, it was that long ago) while teaching basic reading and math was just too much of a mind split, so that plan went away, too.

I ended up facilitating ARDs (IEP meetings) in our district's secondary DAEP (disciplinary setting) for eleven years.  That job didn't even exist in 1988.  I taught resource for three years after that while I worked on my library science degree.  I am enjoying my current job as a school librarian so much that I am thinking of getting a doctorate in the field, just for fun.  

My 52-year-old self is giggling a bit at the 22-year-old who wrote that "wild list"; what did she know?  Should I now write a list of wild things to do before I turn seventy, just to look forward to more giggles then?

SOLSC '18 Day Eight: Dreams of youth, Part One

I am desperately trying to stick to my theme of flight-flying-looking up for this year's Slice of Life Story Challenge, and after seven days I'm beginning to realize how difficult it may be to do so without seeming redundant.

I don't know what made me think of the list this early morning--though during this March writing challenge, I often pray at night for inspiration to strike upon waking, being one of the "pantster" writers as one of our fellow bloggers, Ramona, described on Day One.  I'm grateful for the Muse that had me digging through a crowded bookshelf behind my couch in semi-darkness, willing my fingers to wrap around a box I haven't touched in years.

The box holds a journal that was gifted to me in 1981.  It's beautiful, with watercolor roses on the cover and filled with cream-colored parchment paper. The entries are sporadic, sometimes years between writings, and the journal is over half-empty.  I didn't want to look at any entry but the remembered list, because I know the book holds some of my highest highs and lowest lows. Those memories are best revisited in broad daylight with a good cup of coffee and a fully awake perspective that only age and experience can bring.  

Without further ado, here's the list:

Notice the date; I wrote this just a week over thirty years ago.  So where am I now, relative to this to-do list?  Two years into my fifties, and

• I have yet to go scuba diving...and I'm not really sure I even want to anymore.
• I do have a motorcycle, and halfway learned to ride it, but haven't practiced in years.  Motorcycle manuals are still sitting on the floor by my bed.
• I married a guy who used to work on F-4 jets; does that count?
• I did talk to an Army National Guard recruiter thirty years ago, but my father and brother talked me out of joining. 
• I am thinking about getting my doctorate in Library Science, but I'm certainly past the artificial deadline I set for myself thirty years ago!

What happened during the past thirty years that not only deferred, but changed these dreams?  I'll ponder that question today and save the answer for tomorrow's Slice.

SOLSC '18 Day Seven: Sunrise, sunset

"Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset,
Swiftly flow the days...."

I zigzag my way to work each morning to avoid major roads and traffic.  Left out of the driveway, left past the swimming pool, straight ahead to wait at the light on the edge of my neighborhood.  I cut over the busy farm-to-market road, then right onto the road behind the train station.  Another left and another right, and I'm on the street to my school.

It's on the stretch behind the train station, and the road to my school, that I drive into the sunrise each morning.  Some days it's so glorious that I stop to take a picture with my phone, standing beside my car in the school parking lot.  It makes me happy to see the rays peeking out from behind the clouds, a sign of beautiful weather for the day.

Lately, I've been seeing the sunset on these same roads.  Staying at work late for various reasons, I take pictures of bright oranges and pinks from my steering wheel, stuck in traffic behind the train station.  Equally as beautiful as the sunrise,  but with opposite feelings of frustration over long work hours that have intruded on my personal time. My walks to and from the car are the only chance I get to enjoy that beautiful weather the morning promised.

What's that saying? "All work and no play make Jill a dull girl."  I am indeed feeling tired and dull; perhaps next week's Spring Break will set my schedule aright.

  

SOLSC '18 Day Six: Freefall

The Avowal

As swimmers dare

to lie face to the sky

and water bears them,

as hawks rest upon air

and air sustains them,

so would I learn to attain

freefall, and float

into Creator Spirit’s deep embrace,

knowing no effort earns

that all-surrounding grace. 

--Denise Levertov

I lose myself 

floating on the water

disappearing into the 

blue vastness above

becoming one with the circling hawk

relaxing into the watery embrace

I am enough, I have enough 

I am blessed

by the Creator of wind and water,

hawk and sky.

--Chris Margocs

My theme for this month's blogging challenge is flight, flying, looking up.  Levertov's poem not only incorporates those images, but speaks to me of the times of crisis when I learned to let go.  Flight really is freefall after a launch, when you think about it.