SOLSC '18 Day Five: And then I was fifty-two

Another year has flown by.  

The last three birthdays--forty-nine, fifty, and fifty-one--gave me pause to think.  Diagnosis at forty-nine, bedridden by fifty, and gone at fifty-one; those were the last three years of my mother's life.

Today I celebrate a birthday that my mother didn't reach herself.  Today marks the true beginning of uncharted territory on my matriarchal map.  To find fifty-two, I would have to look further to the left, to the right, to the examples of my grandmothers' lives.  But they too, are gone, with only sparse memories and infrequently told family stories to sustain me.

So I will look up, instead.  I will ask for guidance from these three angels on this day, and every birthday to come.  

These are the gifts I will take from them today:

From my mother--the ability to forgive, but not forget, lest I let others test my boundaries again.  The importance of creative pursuits to soothe the soul and gift others.  The need for a social network, even as I long for solitude.  Always have some money in your purse.  If there is a reason to celebrate, then have a party.  The example of lifelong love.

From her mother--enjoy a good laugh.  Find a job you like and stay with it.  Keep a neat house (I need to work on that!).  Always have a book by the bed.  Do what you are afraid of; having driving shoes helps.  Use the good china and crystal.  

From my paternal grandmother--find your look, and stick with it.  Put on some lipstick, and you're ready for anything, even if it's cooking pierogis.  Jewelry is a great make-up gift after a fight.  The best accompaniment for coffee is a danish.  Have a deck of cards on hand for solitaire and go fish.   

Thanks for the birthday gifts, Mom, Grandma, and Grammie.