Tuesday Slice: A cloud of February words

Last month, I made a cloud of January words based on my January posts from 2016 to 2018, to see if the frequency had any wisdom for me.  I thought it might be fun to do at the end of each month this year, so here's my February cloud:

Most used words, from the eleven February posts:

12 will

9 bed

8 school

8 time

7 library

7 hours

7 just

7 days

7 one

6 SoulCollage

6 cards

6 night

6 home

6 two

6 new

I think it takes a certain amount of will for educators to make it through February.  The glow from the winter holidays has worn off, we're jittery from too much Valentine chocolate, and we're worn out from repeating the expectations we've been practicing since August.  Bed is a welcome respite from school.  While I love my time in the library, the hours just keep getting longer, mirroring the growing sunlight of our days.  One way I relax is to make SoulCollage cards.  Another is to enjoy my nights at home with my husband, the two of us creating new routines as we transition to empty nesting.

This February doesn't feel much different than those of the past!

Tuesday Slice: Five-thirty pm

Just three years ago, five-thirty pm marked my first hour home.  I might be throwing a load of laundry in the washing machine, putting together a plate for my high school boy, reheating leftovers for my husband and myself.  Five-thirty pm may have even called for a power nap on the couch, reading my emails or a book on the front porch, walking over to my neighbors' house for a chat.

The high school boy has since gone on to college, and doesn't need a ride home from school anymore.  My artificial boundary gone, five-thirty pm often finds me still at work.  There are emails to read and answer, lessons to plan, overdue tasks to complete.  Late yesterday afternoon, I hosted an online meeting, and was about to walk out the door before five-thirty pm (gasp!) when I realized there was a staff meeting in the library this morning.  Down went my purse and keys; the next thirty minutes were spent rearranging tables and adding chairs to fit our growing faculty.  Tablecloths were laid where the potluck would be placed.

There are moments of peace during these times:  waning sunlight through a window casting a previously unseen pattern on the carpet; the quiet clicking of my keyboard; the satisfaction of tasks completed.

Then I shut off the computer and the lights, lock the doors, and walk outside to a nearly empty parking lot.  The sun is setting in line with my road home, and any peace I felt is replaced with the sad realization that I am truly spent; I have little left to offer the rest of my day.  I drive home in silence, shuffle through the door, and stare at the list of what will once again remain undone at home.

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Afterthought:  I did not write this to garner pity or admiration.  This is an observation of the lack of balance in my energy these days, a struggle faced by more than a few educators.  I love my job, have written and will write about the wonderful moments that fill my days at school...but I also think it's important to note that this work can and often is depleting.  We must find ways to "fill our own buckets" to continue to be able to give.

Tuesday Slice: I'm here; now what?

I tried starting a Slice last night, but it turned into a complaint about being tired.  So I'm starting over this morning...

Here I am at my keyboard at oh-dark-thirty.  Now what?  

Still yawning.  Sips of coffee in between phrases.  

No Muse landing on my shoulder, no wonderful childhood memory coming to mind.

Snippets.  

Yesterday...The eyes of a child, filling with tears as she came to the library clutching her bag of money, two hours too late for the book fair,the crates that we feverishly packed in the background.  Not sure if the promise of the continuing online fair consoled her much.  

My hands, dry from handling money and paper and books all week long.  I'll be applying lotion frequently today, since I'll be scrubbing in tonight for my first volunteer training session at the hospital. 

The training session ends at nine tonight.  Long day ahead...which brings me back to feeling tired.  Quitting this post before it turns into a complaint... 

Tuesday Slice: Important conversations

I just finished up two weeks of reading Mae Among the Stars to my first and second graders in our library Book Nook.  (When two grade levels equals twenty-one classes, it takes awhile to share a book with everyone.)  Written by Roda Ahmed and illustrated by Stasia Burrington, it's a picture book inspired by the childhood of Mae Jemison, the first African-American female astronaut.

The book is interesting--especially the afterword, detailing many of Jemison's amazing accomplishments.  But the conversations we had about race and gender bias were even more moving.  Mae was born in 1956, and grew up in the tumultuous times of the Civil Rights Movement.  This fictionalized version of Mae's life shows us her supportive parents who buoy her dreams, and a teacher who can't see past her skin color and gender.  Fresh on the heels of taking our MLK Day break from school, my students were able to connect the dots.  Most refreshingly, they all agreed that women and people of color have a place in our space program, today and tomorrow.  I didn't hear a single word of dissent on the subject.  When I asked, "Who wants to be an astronaut when you grow up?", there was a lovely mix of hands in the air, boys and girls, light and dark.

Times like these in our Book Nook give me hope for our future.  May my students' attitudes toward race and gender opportunities remain as open as they were these last weeks.