1) I used to think that planning out every minute of my day meant that I had control over my life. And then my firstborn arrived fourteen weeks before my planner said she was due. I quickly realized that the saying "we plan, and God laughs" just might be true. I didn't touch a planner for six months afterward. I still plan, but leave lots of room for God's sense of humor.
2) I used to think that racism was a thing of the past, having grown up in a home without racial epithets and on diverse military bases. And then I went to college, and heard it with my own ears, saw it with my own eyes. I still do, and it makes me sad.
3) I used to think that in many ways, I screwed up as a mother. I still think I did, but now that my kids are young adults and thriving, I think that my good moments outweighed the bad ones. Either that, or my kids have really good coping skills.
4) I used to think of the Church as a family home when I was younger, a constant in our military lifestyle. Then we moved into a parish that was blatantly misogynistic and unwelcoming of our Masonic participation, and the foundation of that home started to crack. Then the pedophile scandals broke loose, and more evidence of domineering patriarchy in my own parish...it no longer felt like home. But that's okay, because God is everywhere.
5) I used to think I had to know everything, do everything on my own. But then I married a man who is great at the things I'm not, like fixing stuff and killing large bugs in the house. He's a great dad, too, which is probably why our kids turned out okay.
I'm sure if I really thought about it, there are a lot of things I used to think but don't anymore. I hope that I never stop learning.
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I love the raw, honest humor of Beth Woolsey . Her acceptance of our flawed humanity while we strive to be better people just makes me feel better. This Slice is inspired by one of her recent posts, "10 Things I Used to Think...What About You?"
Great structure. I relate to number three. I think this daily. Maybe we need to give ourselves more grace. It sounds like you did a great job.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jessica. I do need to work on giving myself more grace, especially in the kid department!
DeleteThis is such an honest post. Each of your thoughts could serve as a starting point for a longer piece. There is much sorrow here and loss, but also growth and continued strength. And learning and reflection. And "acceptance of our flawed humanity." I imagine your piece will serve as a mentor to others, just as Beth Woolsey's original piece did for you. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your insight, Molly; I may use this piece as inspiration when I lack such on a Tuesday morning!
DeleteI love to this honest piece - so much to unpack her. I appreciate the format, as well. I need to remember this one for a later time! I want to write about this in my notebook when I get the chance.
ReplyDeleteI hope that I never stop learning either!
Trina, it is a powerful prompt, making one dig back to the past, unearth the old self and hold it up to compare with the new. As I write this, I'm thinking that it might be wise to write an "I believe" piece every now and then, to be able to go back and revisit how those beliefs change over time.
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