I want to write about good stuff today.
I want to write about how beautiful the weather was yesterday, sitting in my backyard after work for a bit. I wasn't among the last people leaving campus for the day, for once, so I had time to breathe and enjoy some fresh air.
I want to write about how I didn't kill the beautiful flowering plant I got for School Librarians' Day (was that just two weeks ago?)--it just needed water to perk up. How the notes of appreciation from students and staff made me feel like I am where I belong, that I can keep doing this for a few more years.
I want to write about finding the tote-that-turns-into-a-backpack that I bought three years ago for an annual conference that COVID cancelled, and how I'm finally going to attend the conference in person this week. I want to write about how I'm excited to learn and grow as a librarian alongside my colleagues...
But.
Today, I just don't know. It's been a week since confirmation that library assistants' jobs would be cut across our district (I guess because librarians are superhuman, and can do the work of multiple people within a forty-hour workweek?). In the same week, SB13 passed the state Senate and moved to the House, the bill requiring more hoops to jump through to put books on our library shelves (I guess because my state certification as a teacher and a librarian, supported by degrees from state universities, doesn't make me qualified enough to make those decisions?). Other bills are moving forward too, regarding prosecution of librarians and mandatory book labeling by vendors. There's even a bill proposing that our highly trained school counselor-educators (yes, they have to be dually certified, like me) be replaced by chaplains (I guess because separation of church and state doesn't apply to public schools?).
I want to be excited about going to conference tomorrow. I want to think that I have six more years in this profession, in this state, even though I am eligible to retire.
But today, I just don't know.
Ugh, that all sounds so hard! What always strikes me in all this is that we are totally ignoring the students. It is supposed to be all about the kids, but instead it is all about the squeakiest wheels that derail all the good. I hope you enjoy your conference and it fills you with positive energy to keep going through all the muck.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way. I want to be excited to attend TLA tomorrow as a first year librarian, but the overwhelming feeling I have is a pervasive sense of doom. All I really have to keep me going is that I’m not alone. You’re not alone. We’re in this together and we’re in it for the kids and a love of literacy.
ReplyDeleteSame here. I'm usually so excited to go to TLA. This year, I just feel defeated.
ReplyDeleteI feel this anguish through and through. Your comment I guess because my state certification as a teacher and a librarian, supported by degrees from state universities, doesn't make me qualified enough to make those decisions?). especially resonated. Why are qualified, educated individuals no longer trusted to do the work they do best? We are losing our librarian in my local school district. We're all thinking they might not even replace her.
ReplyDeleteThis is just oh-so-much! I know you love what you do and it doesn't feel good when things are coming at you from every direction.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry that this is happening to you, to anyone. Public education used to be for all the public, and not just for some, and not run by those who think they know better. Let’s hope it gets better!
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