I was supposed to get up an hour ago. The sun isn't even completely up, and I've already disappointed myself.
Why do I feel this way? I'm on summer break! I should be luxuriating in the ability to arise whenever I feel like it (except for the next three days, when I'm back to work hours for iPadPalooza).
There's this urgency for me to be up and at 'em on these fleeting vacation days, to tick tasks off my to-do list that seems to grow exponentially while I'm working. Teachers don't do spring cleaning--they do summer cleaning. And summer reading, and planning, and professional development.
I've also had more restless nights since school got out than I had during my last work calendar. Library needs, lesson ideas, work-related issues have kept me awake at least twice this past week. This rarely happens August through May.
There have been attempts to get into summer mode: a lazy day last Friday, swimming, sitting on the back porch celebrating the solstice yesterday. Going braless at home (I had forgotten how good that feels!). But I'm still driven to fill up my planning diary with self-imposed assignments.
Maybe this is a detoxification process, my mind and body shaking off the stress of the school year, like a fever burning off an infection. Infectious laughter would be more suitable for this season of rest and rejuvenation.
 |
| Summer solstice sun, from my backyard. |
Chris, I could have written this post about myself. Know that you're not alone. I wish I had a cure, but I don't. The summer solstice is beautiful. I'm glad you took the time to relax and capture it. ~Amy
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking meditation, at this point. Need to practice emptying my mind! Good luck with your own relaxation efforts this summer!
DeleteHave you thought about getting lost in a great summer read? Reading makes me relax and getting lost in the right book is a great stress reliever. :)
ReplyDeleteI've been reading kidlit with work in mind. :-\ Reading a book JUST for ME is high on the list of priorities this week!
DeleteWhy not get an audiobook and a coloring book. That way you can read and relax at the same time.
ReplyDeleteThat may be just the ticket! Though my mind tends to wander too much when I listen to audiobooks, and then I get lost, and have to rewind. :-P
DeleteIt always seems like right after teaching I fall off a cliff. After 21 years, I still need to give myself room to detox. Every year it feels a little different. Sometimes it feels like summer break right away. Sometimes it takes me a month. It varies. Give yourself permission to flounder for a while.
ReplyDeleteThank you--I needed to hear that!
DeleteI can SO relate. This year seems worse for me for some reason. Anyhow, I'm starting back with the mindful meditation hoping that helps.
ReplyDeleteMe, too. Though I need to get up before everyone else to have the quiet space to do it. Blergh.
DeleteI used to feel that way, too, Chris, feeling like I now had this gift of time so "What am I going to do to make it count?" I am struggling with that even in retirement, thinking that each day I "must" do something worthwhile. Time for us to learn to "be" I think. Best wishes for finding hours to relax, too!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Linda! Yes, learning to "be" would be immensely soul-filling right now. And we need that, because we've got so much giving in us--we have to have something to give from!
DeleteIt always takes me a week or two to get out of the fast pace of the school year and into a relaxing summer mode. Here's to hoping it happens for you soon!
ReplyDeleteI think after iPadPalooza, I'll be able to unwind a bit. Must remember to ease back on the professional development hours next summer!
DeleteI remember the shock of transitioning from 100 mph to empty days that first year of teaching. As you commented, the to-do lists pile up during the school year and once you hit that first day of summer vacation, there's a sense of urgency to get everything done...preferably NOW! I mean, you're not working, right? What else do you have to do? I've come to believe that part of my "summer job"--perhaps the most important part-- is to rest, relax and nourish myself in summer months. Here's hoping you can find your summer balance and enjoy the luxury of some unscheduled time!
ReplyDelete