I walked out to my car, still parked at work at 945p
Bent in pain, heat escaping from my eye sockets
I sat in my car for five long minutes
To make sure I could drive home
Deciding I could, but craving a burger
As I drove towards the golden arches
Exhausted from a week of pushing my physical limits
My muddled brain grew angry
Why do I have to take care of myself when I am at my lowest?
Why do I feel alone in this misery, with two others residing in my home?
Why do I have to be motherless, at a time when I need mothering?
I ate in stony silence as the TV blared
Medicated my cough and fever
Took a hot shower, fell into bed with instant, blessed sleep
This weekend, I did little but care for myself
Lots of rest, lots of meds, lots of liquids
The laundry my only chore
*********
Yesterday morning, I was handed a cup of chai tea, a gift for my throat
Expected a check at lunch, to be told it had been taken care of
My mother's earthly emissaries taking care of me, after all.
I hear you. I had the flu last week. I took two days off but the rest of the week felt tired. Sometimes we have to stop and take care of ourselves.
ReplyDeleteThere is pain in this post, then comfort. I'm glad that you felt your mother's love through the kindness of others. Thank you for sharing with this community.
ReplyDeleteBeing sick is the worst. I wish you a speedy recovery and lots of rest and tea until you're feeling 100% again.
ReplyDeleteYour words put a lump in my throat. I felt your aloneness and then the small signs of connection and relief. Be well.
ReplyDelete