My summer doesn't officially begin for another week, but I am already planning all the things I want to get done, all the things I need to get done, in the very few short weeks I have "off". (I use quotations because teachers know we are never really "off"--uncompensated work stuff still happens throughout the summer). Cleaning and reading, learning and crafting, traveling and exercise and more cleaning are written down in colorful ink in my planner.
I already know that if I'm lucky, half of those plans will come to fruition.
I will sleep later, stay up later, and have less focus than I am planning on. There will be days when absolutely nothing gets accomplished, except maybe a nap on the couch and coffee made. There are sections of the house that may look exactly the same as they did on June 8th, my first day of "summer break".
After twenty-eight years in this biz with summer playing out the same way every year, I am okay with that kind of failure. This year, I planned every minute of every workday for over 183 days with a lot of pandemic pivoting and mindshifting, and accomplished an awkward, fairly successful version of a library program.
If my summer plans fall through, it means that my body, mind, and spirit needed something else to restore operating capacity for the coming school year. The tank needs to be filled before the car can go...so I am planning to fail spectacularly this summer. And that feels good.
I love this post. So true! I wrote in my morning pages this morning "I want to veg out, sleep, eat what and when I want, watch junk TV." I'm more spent than ever this last week. Thanks for this affirmation... "If my summer plans fall through, it means that my body, mind, and spirit needed something else to restore operating capacity for the coming school year." We need to be more gentle with ourselves. This has been a tough year. We all certainly deserve a lot of doing nothing.
ReplyDeleteYes to all of this, Margaret! I'm getting ready to head out on a Getaway once more, with books in tow to read...or not. A quick turnaround from the hustle and bustle of this mad, mad year will be welcome respite.
DeleteWhat a post!
ReplyDelete"If my summer plans fall through, it means that my body, mind, and spirit needed something else to restore operating capacity for the coming school year. The tank needs to be filled before the car can go...so I am planning to fail spectacularly this summer. And that feels good."
Planning to fail . . . a great goal!
I had to laugh at myself, Fran, since it's only taken decades for me to come to this state of acceptance regarding my summer plans. It was much easier to stick to them when I had children in the home to entertain...cleaning and decluttering aren't near as much fun as taking them on field trips and swims!
DeleteChris, I need to take your advice. I am pushing so hard to making my new home box-free and everything in its place that I forgot there is a lifetime of days for this. Some days I just need to veg but I have felt guilty about those thoughts. You have given me incentive to find summer peace.
ReplyDeleteOh, Carol, I am glad you reached this conclusion. It's not a race, right? One box at a time, with lots of breathing and napping and coffee breaks in between sounds like a plan to me.
DeleteNice plan: "I am planning to fail spectacularly this summer". I'm enter into winter and summer is far away, but I want to follow your lead on this one!!
ReplyDeleteI think winter plans can go the same way, Jimena! Hope you take some time for self-care.
DeleteHere is how I interpret this deeply reflective post - your body, mind, and spirit need freedom. Not constraints. Break the chains. Soar. Wander. Savor. Just so you don't freak yourself out, you can make a very loose to-do for the week of a few necessary things to accomplish; I say this because I've spent summers toiling away at what I felt "had" to be done when really what I needed was time, space, books, rest... who defines our failure, anyway?? I say go for it - and love every minute!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Fran. The irony is that I truly need to plan unplanned days to make myself stick to them without feeling that twinge of guilt. Unfortunately, some tasks are truly timebound...and I am prone to wait until just before deadline to do these types of things!
DeleteI'm there with you-as I realize I didn't unpack all of the boxes I loaded into my car earlier today. Thank you for the perspective about what my body may need. A day of puttering around and maybe getting a nap or not feeling guilty for spending the whole day reading a book.
ReplyDeleteWe've had a heckuva year, Alice. The boxes can wait a bit--you deserve some rest and downtime!
Delete