Lauren Herschel's Tweet showed up in my social media.
My button has been pushed often this week.
The triggers--
a friend lost a father
a friend remembering her mother
grandparents proudly sharing photos
the upcoming holidays
my shopping genes, and
the resulting clutter
No tears were shed. My thoughts were selfish, really--
empathetic thoughts (I know what it's like to lose a parent)
I've been a motherless daughter for twenty-three years
my mom only got to grandparent for three years (does the last one even count?)
my mom would know how to handle the holidays this year
my mom would share in my shopping "victories"
my mom would help me decide what to keep and what to release
my mom would
my mom
mom
I went to sleep last night
with that three-letter word
full of love and loss
lingering on my lips.
It never goes away, but slowly the pain shifts and brings more joy than sorrow. The loss transforms to honoring traditions, telling stories, and noticing the signs. Thank you for slowing me down to remember and feel. Simply beautiful.
ReplyDeleteOh, Chris. This pierces like a flaming arrow in the heart. Your lines descending to that one word, mom ... I feel a hollowness where that word just echoes. I sense a joy and closeness, however, that creates the vacuum left behind. With the holidays approaching, of course it's amplified. I also think about loss via deaths of relationships, even though the loved person is living. That ache is real. My thoughts are with you, my friend. Know that you lend much joy to so many - I am a grateful beneficiary!
ReplyDelete