SOLSC '23 Day 31: Cathartic platform

 Congratulations to all my fellow Slice of Life Story Challenge writers who made it to the finish line!  How amazing is it that we showed up to write and share for an entire month!

I write in the morning before work, so I didn't have time to read over all my posts for a true metacognitive final submission, but I did read over all the titles.  What I found was 

a mishmash of 

personal and 

professional topics 

some deep 

some light 

some memories and

some hopes.

Some prose.

Some poetry.

An allegory.

A writing block

(only one this year!).

Frustrations and

celebrations,

politics and

whimsy.

Here's to finishing my eleventh year of Slicing, with gratitude and awe for all the wonderful educator-writers and their submissions this month.  Thank you for sharing your talents with this writing community!

SOLSC '23 Day 30: A simple thank you

 

I quit teaching after my first six years.  I was burned out; what had started as an ideal situation teaching small groups in a resource setting with two other special education teachers had evolved into a department of one--me--taking on the entire school's caseload by year five.  They hired another partner teacher in year six, but it was too late; we were both exhausted by the end of that year, and left the district.  I was pregnant with my first child, and felt like I couldn't be a good parent and a good teacher with that kind of work stress.

I tutored for a couple of years, then ended up working in the NICU where my daughter had spent her first sixty-five days.  My father berated me a bit for taking a job outside my college-degree scope.  My answer?  Not only was it lovely to work in a job I couldn't take home with me and with set hours, but I received more thank-yous from the nurses and parents in the first six weeks than I had in six years of teaching--and I was basically an errand runner, stocker, and cleaner.  I felt seen and appreciated, and that let me know that my efforts contributed to the operating system of the unit.

Fast forward...after eighteen years back in the education biz, I landed on a campus where kudos are built into the culture via a weekly call to recognize colleagues for the principal newsletter.  After a really long workweek running the book fair, a colleague wrote a really nice email praising my efforts and sent it to the staff.  I was still physically exhausted that weekend, but my mood was considerably lightened, and made me feel like I made a positive impact.

When the attacks on educators flared up again these past few years, we were encouraged to "toot our own horns" to make the work we do visible to the public.  But that is one more thing to add to an already loaded plate that most educators carry.  Our advertising may decrease some of the negativity outside of schools.  But in the midst of talented teachers leaving the profession, something tells me that if folks (especially politicians) just stopped, asked about, and noticed what we do every day to support children's academic, social, and emotional growth--and then said "thank you"--we might just have a few more of those teachers signing on for another year.

SOLSC '23 Day 29: The scapegoat

 

My professionalism and training are being questioned in the Texas legislature this session.

There is a bill proposing that the acquisitions for school library collections be monitored by a "library advisory council", made up mostly of district parents.  Our book purchases would have to be approved by this council.  School employees can be on the council, but they would not have a vote in any decisions.

There are so many issues with this proposed legislation that I hardly know where to start.

• Parents have always had the right to monitor and direct their own children's reading--but that right does not extend to other people's children.
• I highly doubt that marginalized groups would be fairly represented on these councils--and they are the ones most often represented in books that are being banned.
• School librarians in Texas are educators, first and foremost--the welfare of children and the promotion of literacy are at the heart of what we do.  To suggest otherwise is offensive and demeaning.
• I have a master's degree which includes the study of children's literature.  I keep up with what's current in publication, as well as what the needs are for my campus.  I highly doubt that a council of parents, most of whom I will assume have jobs on top of the demands of parenting, will also take on the task of examining the demographics of each campus, including diversity details (especially LGBTQ), reading book reviews and author interviews.
• Either the authors of this bill intentionally want to narrow the books that become part of our collection (my suspicion, for sure), or they truly are clueless about the number of books we intentionally add to our shelves each year--books chosen because of their award-winning status, statewide reading programs, curricular needs, popularity with students (we do want them reading, right?), and most of all--representation.
• Representation--I hate to break it to these politicians, but we have LGBTQ students in our state.  We have students dealing with depression, poverty, gun violence (ahem), homelessness, racism, learning difficulties, suicidal ideation, immigration and assimilation.  Reading about others, even fictional characters, who are dealing with the same situations--and making their way through those situations--can be affirming and helpful.  Pulling books that contain these subjects will not make those situations go away.

I could keep going, but I have to get ready for work.  You know, the job I was highly trained for, that I've been doing for a decade--supporting teachers and lifting kids (and our society) up through books of windows, mirrors, and sliding glass doors.

SOLSC '23 Day 28: It's me

 

It's a case of the right book at the right time.

I'm reading Atomic Habits by James Clear.  It's been sitting on my TBR pile since December 2019.  There have been several attempts at starting and restarting this book, but it wasn't until I made it my morning reading this month (habit!) that I've made any headway on it.  One chapter each day, steady as she goes.  This time, I'll finish it.

The farther along I get, the more Taylor Swift's words start to accompany my reading:

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

At tea time, everybody agrees

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero*

As a teacher, I'm really good at constantly reinforcing routines and habits.  Please walk in a line to make room for others in the hallway.  Inside voices, so you can hear instructions.  Please use your shelf markers to keep books in their homes until they go on vacation with you.

I'm not saying that I don't have good habits--I do.  I wake up early on workdays to center my introverted self in quiet before I act extraverted all day for my job.  I add collagen to my coffee, take my vitamins most days, empty the dishwasher while my coffee is brewing, change the sheets on a regular basis.  I even plan my work outfits for the week on Sundays--one less decision to make each day.

But the stuff that really, really matters?  Like moving my body to keep it healthy, eating lots of veggies and fruit, saving more money that I'll need to retire instead of spending it on things I want now?  Decluttering things I don't need, instead of adding even more stuff?

It's me...hi...I'm the problem.  Or at least, the bad habits I've chosen to meet my primal needs to reduce anxiety and fit in are the problem, according to Clear.  

Looks like what I need is more good habits.  Maybe then, I won't be so exhausted by my furtive avoidance of the mirror.  Maybe if I use my teacher voice in my self-talk...Please delete that retail email and read a fun book from your TBR pile.  Go for a walk then eat an apple--you'll feel better.  Listen to some fun music and clean the house.  Get off the screen, and call a friend or crochet instead.  Go to bed earlier so you aren't so tired in the morning.  I can be the solution, instead of the problem--imagine that.

*Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Jack Michael Antonoff / Taylor Alison Swift
Anti-Hero lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

SOLSC '23 Day 27: Coffee evolution

 

First memories of

cold half-cups

light-brown, sweet,

left by my father

off to work before 

I got up for school.

I don't know why my

mother let me drink it, 

but she did.

Then, the plastic

demitasse cups, brown

with a paper lid, 

wooden spoon attached

cold coffee ice cream

eaten poolside on the

Armed Forces base

in Naples, Italy

still my favorite flavor.

Instant coffee in 

the dorm room, made with

water heated in an

electric coffee pot

Sweet-n-Low and

powdered creamer

powered me through

loaded schedules and 

late-night cramming.

Coffee from the

teachers' lounge

bitter, made better with

International Delight

paired with the yeasty rolls

the cafeteria ladies would

sell for a quarter.

Mr Coffee on my counter

a full pot shared with my

husband, before we

head off to work in different 

directions.

Decaf coffee, for six months of

pregnancy, and

two months of pumping,

a few months of nursing.

Coffee from the nurses' lounge

powering me through

twelve-hour weekend shifts

cleaning isolettes and

manning the front desk.

Decaf coffee once again

in deference to child 

number two

returning to full caffeine

when a week of sleepless

nights turned into months

years, six of them

before we all learned to sleep.

Coffee carried in thermal

travel containers

that took almost half

of the Mr Coffee carafe.

And now...

coffee from a little mini-pot

because I wake up two hours

before my husband

and he prefers his fresh

I add collagen, stevia,

a splash of sugar-free Torani

and enough half-and-half to

make my cup as light

as those first cups of

my father's coffee.

SOLSC '23 Day 26: Six degrees of connection

 

My daughter called me last Thursday evening, just to chat.  (How lucky am I to have adult children who want to do that!)  We both had busy work weeks with long hours, and it was nice to commiserate a bit.  As usual, our conversation meandered, and I mentioned that because of her, we were five degrees of separation from the famous Austin barbecue chef, Aaron Franklin.

"Oh, because of Tatsu, right?" she said.  "Yup," I replied.

My daughter (1) has a friend from middle school (2) whose sister (3) dated Tatsu, a well-known Austin fusion chef (4), who has collaborated with Franklin (5) and appeared in the PBS series with him.

I surprised her when I said that she was two degrees from Nicole Kidman--I saw the actress across the room in Harrods of London when I was visiting my brother, stationed in England at the time.

Have you ever played the six degrees of separation game?  It's based on the eponymous play by John Guare, and became part of pop culture with the creation of the Kevin Bacon version (you can watch the actor himself explain the game in the video link).  Guare's premise is that we're all within six degrees of separation from everyone on the planet, in one way or another.   

The pandemic lockdown really weakened relationships we have with each other, within families, classrooms, even the loose acquaintances we have in public.   Maybe it's time to bring back the popularity of the six degrees game.  It may have "separation" in the title, but it's really all about connections.

Author's note:  I hope you don't mind the links.  I don't know who will be reading this, and I thought you might like the background info on the people, the play, and the game.

SOLSC '23 Day 25: Where I'm from

 

I attended a SoulCollage session this morning.  After creating our Spring-themed cards, we were invited to write a poem using a template fashioned after George Ella Lyon’s poem, Where I’m From.  My card, pictured at the end, meant one thing to me before I wrote the poem, and then carried a different meaning after writing.  My poem, first:

I am from busy hands

From Harlequin romances and Salem cigarettes

I am from the third culture,

peripatetic, surreal, overwhelming

I am from tomatoes

homegrown in a temporary garden

I'm from Sunday dinners and sightseeing

From Anns and Jims and Edwards and Williams 

and a Pearl

I'm from the tight-lipped, and

arguments behind closed bedroom doors

From Santa and the Tooth Fairy

I'm from rituals, incense, holy water and rosaries

I'm a Parisian from Ireland and Hungary

mashed potatoes and pierogies

From the bottle blonde and blue eyeshadow

The cat-eye glasses and stashed fabric and yarn

Memories filed in cabinets and frames, news clippings and

stories told at funerals and weddings

I am from the nurturers of life.

Card by Christine Margocs, 3/25/23

When I made the card, I read it as the springtime demands of mothers and educators against the background of rebirth and blooming.  After writing the poem, I could see the people who nurtured our family tree through the generations.

You can find out more about SoulCollage, and find a facilitator near you, at https://soulcollage.com/ .

SOLSC '23 Day 24: Librarian on repeat

 

We are on our final day of our Spring Scholastic Book Fair, and I am exhausted.  My son, home for a visit, stopped by his alma mater yesterday to take a trip down memory lane, see the changes in the library space, and help out a bit.

Last night, I asked him what he thought about watching his mother at work.  "I know why you're so tired," he said. "You have to keep answering the same questions and saying the same things over and over and over."

He's not wrong.  Voice on repeat:

"Welcome to our Book Fair!"

"Can I help you find a particular book?"

"How much money do you have?"

"With that much money, your mama does NOT want you to come home with twenty-five dollars worth of toys!  Get two books then come to the register to look at the spy pens."

"The posters are five forty one, with tax."

"The price is on the back, by the bar code."

"Remember, there's tax included."

"Cuantos dinero tienes?"

"Oh, you got the coolest book!"

"Remember, the toys stay in the books until you buy them."

"Hold on to your money until you find your books."

"Books first, then toys!"

"Yes, we are open until Friday at three."

"The bargain books are over here!"

"Do you need a baggie for your change?"

"I haven't read this one.  You'll have to tell me if you like it."

"Yes, we take change.  I have a coin counter!"

"Los libros en español están aquí."

"Do NOT poke your classmates, teachers, or siblings with this pointer."

"Thank you for being patient and waiting in line."

"I am so proud of you for counting that change on your own."

"Don't take those keys off that journal until you get home."

"Yes, we take cards."

"Be sure to show your receipt to your mom or dad."

"The spy pens are four dollars and thirty-two cents with the tax."

"Wait for your change and receipt!"

"Honey, you only have enough for these items on the board.  No, these items only.  Nope, just these items."

"Look at that!  You got a book AND a toy!  Good job!"

"I can cover the tax for you today.  If you can, just bring me the fifty cents tomorrow."

"You did a great job shopping today!"

"Thank you so much for supporting our book fair and library program!"

SOLSC '23 Day 23: Deadlines

 

I should have seen it coming.  I mean, we've already been asked to communicate our intentions for next year.  That alone should be the starting bell for...

...the season of deadlines.

I looked at the date yesterday, and realized that receipts for my grant project are due this Friday.  Then I checked my email, and our purchasing department sent out the deadlines for purchases and receiving.  This reminded me that I still need to have a meeting with my principal about next year's library budget, due before April nineteenth.  And there's the application for the summer learning library position that needs to be finished. 

There may be nine weeks left in the school year, but I've only got six weeks of library visits with students left due to end-of-year inventory (another deadline).  We need to do the grant project, take pictures, and submit the grant requirements by May.  I need to read the last two Armadillo Readers' Choice books to my K-2 classes and have them vote for their favorites the first week of May, too.

I know May sounds far away...but with testing season thrown in there and our annual state library conference, the days to get things done are dwindling...and the deadlines are coming, fast and furious.

Is your calendar ready, teachers?

SOLSC '23 Day 22: Book Fair Bumblebee

There was a book fair bumblebee

who rubbed her antennae with glee

when kids would come in

their faces all grins

with shouts of "This book is for me!"

 

SOLSC '23 Day 21: Reenlisting

Reenlisting is a big deal in the military culture, one of those topics peculiar to the career (although now that I think about it, not unlike the contracts of pro sports players or Hollywood actors--with a lot less compensation). When we BRATs were old enough to understand the process, it became a topic of conversation at school, as in "Hey, my dad reenlisted yesterday."  "Yeah, mine's talking about whether or not he'll re-up next year." (It was mostly dads, back then.)  We knew it was a big deal, because it would determine the course of our family's lives for the next three to four years--where we would live, even whether our dad would be with us or not.

I thought about that as the Google form went out yesterday to communicate our employment intentions for next year.  We have a few more options than my father did, I think; his was a simple yes or no, the next steps coming at the whim of the Department of Defense.  Ours were outlined in multiple choice.  Are we returning to this school, applying for another in-district, or resigning altogether? If we're returning, is there another placement we would prefer?  What are our top three choices?  What certifications support that placement? 

My current position is the one I plan on retiring from, so it makes it easy to list my top three placements:  Library, library, library.  If the contract is offered (I never assume), I'll be reenlisting for another year at the circulation desk.

SOLSC '23 Day 20: Should be routine by now

 

Today I will set up my twentieth Scholastic Book Fair.  Yes, I'm counting the two virtual fairs I did during that COVID lockdown year; that took some planning and advertising, too.

Scholastic isn't offering new themes each year any more, so I have to get creative.  Since this is the first week of spring, I went with bees and flowers.  Several hours of my spring break were spent in fluffing out these tissue creations and writing gift tags:

I have to admit that I was one spoiled librarian on my previous campus; with over a thousand students, there were a lot of volunteers who helped me set up, decorate, and run the fair.  Now that I'm on a much smaller campus with a lot of working parents, my assistant and I are pretty much an army of two.  But the fair is also a lot smaller, so there's less to set up.  And I have to admit that I do like the decorating part, once I get over the anxiety of coming up with a theme.

When I realized that this was my twentieth book fair, I took a moment to celebrate all the steps that have become automatic for me.  Ordering change, sending out the emails, printing the shopping hours labels for the flyers, advertising on Twitter, talking it up with the students.  One of my favorite parts is making sure the doors are covered and decorated first, so the fair remains a surprise until shopping starts.  I've amassed so many costumes (yes, I got a bee outfit or two for this fair!) that I should probably start recycling some themes.  Hmmm, should the fall fair be pet-related again?  Monsters?  Castles and knights?  Fantasy forest?  So many choices...let's just get through this next week!  

SOLSC '23 Day 19: I don't feel like writing today

 

The birds greeting the dawn outside my window have plenty to say.  Or maybe they're just reminding me to fill the feeder.

Me, I've got nothin'.

Today, I'm tired of telling stories about myself.  My kids are more interesting than me these days, but they're not kids anymore, and their stories are theirs to tell now.  (Aren't you proud of me for using "they're" and "their" correctly before I've had even one cup of coffee?)

Maybe it's just the last-day-of-Spring-Break doldrums.  Maybe it's because I really need that cup of coffee, and to fill that feeder.

Maybe it's because I'm waaayyyy behind in reading comments for the SOLSC, and that's how I'll be spending time today, instead of trying to write a witty/ interesting/ thoughtful piece of prose.

Whatever the reason, this is all I've got today.  

SOLSC '23 Day 18: Dublin for St Patrick's Day

 

I went to Dublin yesterday

it wasn't very far--

I started off in Denton

and I jumped into my car

The ride was really pretty

green grass and skies of blue

giant spinning wind farms

and a sheep or two

Shamrocks started popping up

right at the city line

green ribbons and golden streamers

tied to light posts and street signs

The streets were lined with lots of cars

but nary a soul was seen

I guess everyone was tucked inside

most likely with beers of green

So I pulled aside a time or two

took photos behind the wheel

drove down side streets just to see

if I was missing the big deal

Double checked the website

to see if something was the matter

seems most of Dublin will be celebrating

not today--but the day after!

Ah, well, at least I can say I've been to Dublin on St Patrick's Day!  May the luck o' the Irish be with ya'!

SOLSC '23 Day 17: Now there's a first

 

His mother's son for certain--his eyes lit up when he mentioned the flagship Half Price Bookstore in Dallas.  "We can go before we head to Irving," he said, "It's only twenty minutes from their place."

I white-knuckled it through Dallas rush-hour traffic and the spitting rain that followed me from Austin.  We made it before the deluge; there was an odd, far-off sound I attributed to a passing train as we hurried into the store.

We barely set foot inside when the store police officer calmly waved us back from the side aisles.  "We're getting everyone to the lower level," he said.  "Aren't we on the lower level?" I asked, noticing that there seemed to be only one floor.

Just then, an announcement over the PA invited everyone to the back of the store...to be led down into the basement.

That far-off sound?  A tornado siren.

Around five dozen or so customers and employees filed behind a service desk into a warehouse-looking room.  We were guided down two flights of stairs into another large space full of pallets, books, and decorations.  "There is a conference room at the end of the ramp to the right," one employee told us.  Sure enough, the wide ramp led to a small meeting space with stacked chairs and a few tables.  We took two chairs for ourselves and sat along the wall, texting family and wondering how long we'd be waiting.  The lights flickered, briefly illuminating everyone's face in the glow of their cellphones.

People were calmly chatting.  A lucky few had books already in hand when we were corralled, so they sat and read.  Another couple was playing "Heads Up" on their phones; a dad read to his toddler daughter.  

If you're going to be trapped in a basement for awhile, a book-loving crowd isn't your worst option.

We were released just fifteen minutes later.  My son and I wandered the aisles for almost an hour, trying to wait out the torrential downpour outside.  It finally lightened up enough for a run to the car, no bags in hand for once.

I guess that makes it two firsts...

There was no tornado touchdown in Dallas...but as I was looking for shareable images for this post, I found out there was one by my daughter, in Irving.  She didn't know!

SOLSC '23 Day 16: Spring cleaning self-sabotage

These are some of the conversations that have been going on in my head as I attempted to do the tiniest bit of spring cleaning this past week.  

Clothes:

• I'll look good in that with five/ten/twenty pounds gone.  And they will be gone--I've lost the weight before, I can do it again.  You don't want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe when that happens, when you have perfectly good clothes already at hand!
• This stuff isn't trendy, it's basic.  I can totally picture myself in a complete outfit with this skirt.
• This cardigan will go with at least two dresses and three pairs of pants.  (Never mind that the pants don't fit right now...)
• Green is my favorite color; why would you get rid of anything green?
• You just might land an office job after you retire from your library gig.  Those shell/ jacket combos never go out of style.
• I know you haven't worn that cardigan in two years.  But it looks great with a black tee and pants and chunky gold jewelry...see, picturing the outfit again!
• Remember Snowmageddon?  The ice storm?  You may need all those flannel shirts next winter, especially if the power goes out and you can't wash anything for days...
• You'll be glad you have all this workout wear when you start seriously exercising again.  Yes, I know some of it is too small--but you will be losing that weight, remember?

Books:

• You will read this someday.  
• You will have time to read this someday.
• The kids may want this book someday.

Random stuff:

• These are really sturdy clothes tags with wooden beads...I can cover them with Mod Podge and scraps of wrapping paper and make gift tags.
• Ooh, I can use this stretchy elastic from my new pair of shoes to restring that loose bracelet...
• The ribbon from that package can be saved and used on a gift!
• The plastic zippy bag from the new set of sheets can be used to store blankets...
• This box is too pretty to throw away...save it for someone's birthday present! 

I did eventually toss six pairs of shoes and four items of clothing in the donation pile...it's a start.

SOLSC '23 Day 15: Progress

 

The Christmas tablecloth

serving its duty

well past

the expiration date

was shimmied from under

the detritus of daily living

shaken out

over the front lawn and

thrown into the washing machine.

The same fate awaited

the holiday pillow covers

and fuzzy throw blankets

(they still sit in the dryer, alas).

Bright yellow sunflowers

now cover the pillows,

the green afghan still 

hiding under a bed

maybe to be pulled this week

maybe not.

The Vesuvius of shoes

under my vanity

constantly rumbling

falling, rolling into our path

was somewhat tamed

winter footwear flowing

across the hall to an

infrequently occupied bedroom

(for now, anyway).

The earrings, missing from 

the tumble of my eyeglass case

(don't judge)

found, one by one

the last hiding in a 

bright yellow floral 

slip-on sneaker.

Heavy winter scents

were swapped for 

lighter spring florals

in defiance of the 

cold blast due

this Friday.

The sweaters that

have been drying for a week

on the folding clothes rack

in the living room

were put away

the rack folded back

into its place in the

laundry room.

Today I will

search for a notebook

that requires 

pulling out the couch

search for a suitcase

that requires 

excavating a mountain

of clothes

read three books

(two to completion, 

hopefully--they're kidlit)

search for recipes

to fill in months of menus

and search the 

back of my eyelids

for some rest,

in between.

SOLSC '23 Day 14: A nerdy holiday

 

Three point one four one five nine, two six five three five...

It was a friendly competition in our nerdy group, trying to memorize as many decimal places of pi as we could--not that we would ever use that knowledge to any great advantage, mind you.  Ten was my limit.  I think someone got to twenty-five places; I wonder if they still recite it now and again, a mathematical touchstone of sorts.

I was nerdy early on. Maybe the relative consistency of school expectations as we hopped from one military assignment to another shaped that part of my persona, even as the social side to that peripatetic lifestyle carved the boundaries of my introversion.  Grades were understandable and attainable; figuring out what was "cool" and fitting in, often not so much.

We arrived in Texas the summer before my sophomore year.  My parents were wise--they looked at schools first before looking at homes, and liked the feel of Parkland High School.  I think we had less than seven hundred students on campus. Despite the size, we had access to honors courses and great teachers.

There was a core half-dozen of us who stuck together through Algebra II and trigonometry, chemistry and Honors English, physics and calculus.  We had homework parties at each other's houses; my mom would supply us with two-liter bottles of soda and popcorn as we worked our way through differential equations and covalent bonds.

Nowadays, I wouldn't know where to start in finding the area under a curve; I'm surprised I even remember the word "covalent".  But I do know pi to the tenth place--that's got to count for something on this Pi Day, right?