What if? (Contains mature content)

Preface to this post:  

To the best of my recollection, I have never been sexually assaulted.  Harassed, yes, but not assaulted.  I say "to the best of my recollection", because there is a memory that hangs at the fringes, but it is more feelings than details, and doesn't really evoke trauma, so I Iet it be.
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I did not watch the Kavanaugh hearing yesterday, nor replays of it after my day of working with children in my school library.  I've become quite pessimistic about any change for the better under this current administration, and didn't want to ruin my upcoming family weekend with another act from this political circus.

Facebook commentaries in my newsfeed didn't allow for complete avoidance of the topic, however, and I felt drawn to read several, including those made by friends and family.

I have questions for those who decided to weigh in on the Kavanaugh hearings:

What if it was me on that stand, Christine Szeredy Margocs instead of Christine Blasey Ford?  What if I had been the one pinned down at a party, screaming behind a hand over my mouth?

What if I had kept that information in my closest circles for decades, still ashamed that somehow I had "asked for it", until I realized "Oh, shit, this joker is now going to have a lot of influence over EVERYONE's lives, not just mine."

Would you believe me, or would you question my memories?  

If you did believe me, would you support my decision to come forward, or would you tell me the past is past, just shut up and put up, your trauma is worth less than what this man can do for our country?
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There are those that argue that we all have skeletons in our closets.  I believe we do.  But I know several men whose histories do not involve pinning down women against their will, laughing as they screamed.  It is time we stop allowing such actions to fall under the argument "boys will be boys".  What Dr. Ford experienced was an act of power, domination, and aggression, not a silly prank.

If you aren't a victim, and this makes you feel uncomfortable--good.  If it makes you question some of the actions of your adolescence and young adulthood--good.  Maybe some soul-searching and heartfelt apologies are in order for the ones you may have harmed.

If you are a victim, and this ongoing topic is dredging up traumatic memories--I am so sorry.  My friends have shared heartbreaking stories since the #MeToo movement began. I believe you. I can only hope and pray that your stories help educate others and embolden those who are in a place to make changes for the better do so...like Dr. Ford.